Noodles and Ketchup

It makes you feel weird and uncomfortable, and at the same time you wonder why you're still reading...

2009-07-17T16:27:00.000-07:00

I don't really care that MJ has passed on. I'm pretty unimpressed by the amount of news coverage that this story is receiving, but I understand it. On a personal note however, I feel like MJ released maybe 2 good songs? Nevermind the fact that I can't take the 4:40 out of my life to listen to either of those two songs, I can safely assume that he hasn't released anything worth listening to for twenty years. He was banking on the success of his childhood band/family, and maybe two albums that were released in the eighties. Not to mention the controversy surrounding this guy. With all the accusations, it's pretty safe to say that he did something wrong, and he did have a higly publicized, strange family life. So, with MJ's death, what have we lost really? Maybe:

1) A band that got big in the seventies and two albums in the eighties.
2) Tabloid fodder.
3) A lot of songs that are annoying, and twenty years worth of poorly done, annoying records.
4) A few less abused children.
5) A few less divorces.
6) The worlds most terrifying surgery recepient.

A lot of other people in the world die everyday. But there isn't a new magazine out every week paying homage to Armenia, Rawanda, or Africa... the only reason most of us people know about these events are because celebrities are latched onto them. MJ was a celebrity, and he really did next to nothing for anyone in the world aside from himself. So why do we care?

I'm not sure. MJ was a hack, and I care more about the world then I do him. If MJ was actually important, Stephen Hawking would've come up with a theory about him.

Mortification

2009-07-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

"If you have any shame, forbear to pluck the beard of a dead lion."

A few years ago, I played with my at-the-time band at the Warped Tour festival. It was a dream come true at the time; I was able to meet musicians that I looked up to, play in front of a decent crowd, and just basically feel like a semi-important part of the musical world, not to mention telling other people in months later that I had played there. On the drive back, we were all hungry, so we decided to stop at the Burger King along the way. It was beyond busy, with lineups reaching out the door. However, this failed to deter us, and as such we got in line. Slowly but surely we made our way to the front of the line, when some inventive youths start cutting in ahead of us through the other door. None of us are happy about this, but it may have been fear or lethargy that prevented any of us from stating our displeasure. One guy had had enough however, and stepped out of line. He yelled at the man behind the counter, "Hey Mohammed! You plan on taking charge of this fucking crowd?" Looking at the who he's yelling at, and I noticed that he was a timid looking brown man, who isn't about to argue with anyone. As this was around the time when the whole world was looking for brown terrorists, I assumed he was being ignorant. Being the politically inspired individual I am, I look at the kid guy yelling and say, "Woah dude, there's no need to be racist or anything. The guy's just doing his job, and it happens to be really busy in here. Calm down." This kid looks at me and goes, "Racist? Look at the nametag. Eat your words motherfucker." I look at the nametag, and sure enough, the man's name was Mohammed. I proceeded to quiet up and feel like an idiot for the rest of the night.

Two Headed Boy Part 2

2009-06-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

A lot of people listen to a lot of different music. I'm pretty bad about it. Unlike most of the kids out there today, I tend to listen to various bands up until a certain point, but after 1996, I find that good bands are few and far in between. One of my favourite bands for a long time was a band called Neutral Milk Hotel. Very rarely have I felt such an emotional connection to music written by anyone other then me.

Daddy please hear this song that I sing
In your heart there's a spark that just screams
For a lover to bring a child to your chest that could lay as you sleep
And love all you have left like your boy used to be
Long ago wrapped in sheets warm and wet

Blister please with those wings in your spine
Love to be with a brother of mine
How he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth
In a struggle to find secret songs that you keep wrapped in boxes so tight
Sounding only at night as you sleep

Brother see we are one in the same
And you left with your head filled with flames
And you watched as your brains fell out through your teeth
Push the pieces in place
Make your smile sweet to see
Don't you take this away
I'm still wanting my face on your cheek

And when we break we'll wait for our miracle
God is a place where some holy spectacle lies
And when we break we'll wait for our miracle
God is a place you will wait for the rest of your life

Two headed boy she is all you could need
She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires
And retire to sheets safe and clean
But don't hate her when she gets up to leave

On a side note, I'll be in South Ontario for awhile. It's been a really stressful month. I feel kind of wierd, and especially unoriginal about it. I've also started talking to myself again.

YMW.

2009-06-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

Let`s just say I wrote something really stupid before.

I want to start again.

2009-06-06T16:13:00.000-07:00

I was talking to someone about my cousins upcoming wedding, and she got all "Pffft, I hate weddings, grrrrrr". I don`t really know why, there`s not a lot of logic to it. Fact is though, it was actually pretty attractive and funny at the same time. I don`t know why I was into it. For some reason, in the time that I`ve been stuck in Saint-Romuald, I`ve developed a liking for knee high socks, and angry statements. Anyways though, I`m going to brag a bit here.
Some people attract you. Not that they have to be attractive (although it`s always nice), there are those that people are simply drawn to. I happen to have the option of hanging out with one of the coolest girls I`ve ever met. Really, The Bouncing Souls said it best when they called it "the something special".
If you`ve got someone in your life who`s cool and down to hang out with you, then you should hang on to them, because people suck, and if you can find a few worth hanging on to, then fucking hold on tight.

The fact is, that tears don`t matter much.

2009-06-05T21:04:00.001-07:00

I really like writing my own songs, and these are my favourite lines from the songs that I`ve chosen to keep. They`re about a shitty tour, my cousins engagement, a girl that I don`t really talk with anymore, a bunch of people that I`ve met that helped ruin the music that I love, and a friend that`s going to South America, who has to be one of the bravest guys I`ve met in awhile. Take a guess at which line fits with each story.

1) I really don`t hate you... I just can`t stand your Black Flag tattoo.

2) Don`t want no tour, I just want to go back home. It`s the only place I really wanna know...

3) We`re sending you off with love, but please oh please, don`t forget about us.

4) You`re eighteen and as pretty as can be, but I hope to hell you`re not in love with me.

5) I can`t promise you anything but I really hope that the rig and sails hold on your makeshift boat.

6) You`re just another face I never want to know, you`re a car drive that I wish I hadn`t drove.

Le Monde.

2009-06-05T06:33:00.000-07:00

I don`t believe that people are born with a predisposition for a certain activity, excluding of course the natural inclination to eating, breeding, forms of interaction, etc. Nevermind the fact that I have a hard time believing in anything, I do find it exceptionally difficult to imagine that a person is born with the desire to perform a job that has been invented by our race, and that the fire of that act continually burns inside the very fibre of their being, never to be extinguished. It`s lovely to imagine that a person is simply born to make music, or sail a boat. Some people would be born save the world, run for president, cure cancer! But unfortunately history has proven that if the heroes of this world are born into their position and naturally inclined to follow it, then there are the villians, people born to counteract the works of our great idols. People who are born to rape women, kill children, put a dollar value on lives, steal from an honest shop owner, encourage the destruction of an entire species.
It`s hard to determine whether you are a hero or villian. I know that that is a funny sentance, but work with me. Some would say that stealing is wrong. Some would say stealing from a major corporation is right. Others yet would say that stealing is only okay in the most dire of circumstances. It all comes down to personal choices, and back again to the decisions that people make. Before anyone decides that I am a fucking asshole, it needs to be said that this kind of choice is not always evident. Someone who has become a victim of the economic climate that we have created for ourselves (and as such has forced many people into poverty) does not always have the choice to play music or not. I`m simply stating that no one is born into one role, or is born to assume one position. Obviously I`m not one for the caste system, nor do I believe in social hierarchies.
I wish that I could control myself the way I would like to, but the fact is that I am a victim of every jealousy that homo sapien sapiens can experience. Does it make me good or evil? I don`t know. I don`t think that those concepts exist... but I do think that the world is filled with shades of grey. I know what I "love" (if the word can be used properly, because I sometimes have a hard time imagining "love" as anything other then a chemical reaction in the brain that inclines human beings one way or the other towards breeding), and I am willing to fight to keep those things in my life. I also know that a lot of the things that I claim to "love" can and have been harmful to my well-being.
What am I writing about? Finding good, honest mechanics in Quebec City. It`ll make you think that heroes really do exist.

Notre langue nous trompe.

2009-06-02T08:16:00.001-07:00

I had originally written something really angry and bitter about the current music scene, a real harsh critique of modern music and the lifestyle that comes with it. I realized that the only reason I was using such foul language was because I`m a stressed out guy, and I just really want to go home. So I`ll just leave myself and anyone who chooses to read this with a thought:
When playing music stops being fun and you feel no connection to anyone who watches/listens to what you are doing, is it time to give it up? I know that I`ve got nothing to show for the years I`ve put into it, as well as no longer feeling any sort of happiness within the confines of the touring lifestyle, outside of writing songs. I`ve never been in any big bands, but I have been a part of some bands that may have had something going for them. I`ve met some amazing people that inspired in me a creativity I thought didn`t exist, and a few people so selfish that they began to believe they deserved more then they received.
I would like to imagine that people have the capacity to understand what being in a band takes out of you, but I know they don`t. It`s not an easy ride where no one works, where parties abound all night, and sleep consumes your day. Being in a little known band means that you have to deal with the same people everyday. You have to compromise everything for the sake of your band, even ending relationships with loved ones. You definitely have to understand what sacrifice is. Most of the time this involves getting rid of aspects of your life that you`ll really regret later. Many times with a band, you see the growth of a new person out of a once innocent and hopeful individual. I once described people being in a band as either bitter or cocky, with no inbetween. I`m probably wrong, but my own experience would validate that thought, and I have yet to meet anyone that will change my mind on that. I guess I fall into the "bitter" category, but I hope not.
Sometimes being in a band can be vastly overshadowed by sitting in your room playing a song on guitar. I find myself stuck in Quebec City, with a run down van, a huge language barrier, and little money. I understand that this sort of stuff happens to musicians all the time, and that my view may be slightly biased. But over the last two years I continually look elsewhere for something that I can find in a book, acoustic guitar, night under the stars, a good time with my family. Maybe I should start looking for it where I know it exists, as opposed to someplace where I`m trying to force it to exist.

Bloc-notes.

2009-05-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

I don`t really know what defines hard work, but I`ve been told I don`t know what it is. I suppose it`s different to everyone else. I would like to imagine that the way I`ve had to go about getting the important things in my life is a little bit more difficult then normal, but again that changes from person to person. I fucking hope that some people got it a bit easier then I have, because if that was the easy way of it, then I weep for those that suffer the difficult path.
It`s incredible how you find out what people think. A few weeks ago I was really insulted and upset by a close friend, over plans that were cancelled at the last minute. More recently, a few friends have informed me that I really don`t work hard enough, nor do I understand what it`s like to struggle. This really sucked to hear, because all three of these people are so important to me.
I`m not really sure if they`re right or not. I`m probably wrong. Whatever the case, it`d be really nice if we could live up to other peoples ideas and standards, but I don`t see it happening to often. I guess all we can do as individuals is accept that we`re wrong, make ammends with those we`ve wronged, and hope that we can learn to understand what something means for everyone. Afterall, if we can`t look at someone else`s point of view, we`re just shoveling clouds.

J`aime mon famille!

2009-05-30T17:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I`m stranded in Quebec. On our way home from our show last night, my band was caught going up hills that could be called small mountains. Although it was beautiful scenery, I found myself focusing moreso on the puttering noises my Mom`s van was making. One four o`clock arrival, 3 highway stops, and an unsure diagnosis later, I`m watching Hockey with a few friends. It`s a strange feeling, having my stomach telling me that it`s going to be sick and that it`s fun at the same time. I`m not so sure how much I like it.
Two members of the band decided to get out of here and go back to Ottawa. I really wish I had that option, especially when it involves not calling relatives and whatnot. The van is going to be fine for my Mom to use, since we`re putting basically any of our money earned and saved into fixing it... but I`m still dreading the call to tell her that things haven`t gone as swimmingly as imagined. As I`ve stated before, my Mom is an amazing lady, and I deserve every bit of annoyance that may be thrown my way, as I`m a goof by nature.
It`s nice knowing that I`m still alive right now though. I`m really worried about shit, but just remembering that I can still experience life and everything that personal freedom has to offer makes it an easier night. I guess being young can help that. I just hope that it doesn`t compromise anyone else`s happiness. Namely, my Mom, ladyfriend, and few friends.

Wish me luck, I want to come home soon.

Those beautiful words, well acted, change nothing.

2009-05-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need to tell someone to give up. An example of this would be something that I wish I could say to someone:

"You're old, but you carry on like you're twelve years of age. You wish you were still in high school, and I can imagine that you wish everything was still made for you like it was back then. Maybe that would be awesome... but it's not to be so. Constantly forcing yourself onto people is not a sign of everlasting friendship. It's a sign that you need to let the past be the past. It's gone. I'm sorry I had to say this, but it's how I feel, and I know that you and I aren't going to be able to maintain anything other then our fondest memories of what once was. Enjoy your life."

But to say something like this, I would have to be completely innocent of the same crime. To quote James Tiberius Kirk, "Did you hear him joke about compassion? Above all else, a god needs compassion!" I could learn something from this, and I think that's why I'm only going to right this down, as opposed to being a coward.

Brickwall views demand uninspired afternoons.

2009-05-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

At any given time, on any given day, how many people are stranded on the open ocean? There's so much space out there, that there must be people just floating around thinking to themselves, "I'm completely alone out here". I don't know if I'd be able to handle a shipwreck and eventual castaway situation. I don't even like breaking skateboards, and I had a horrible time watching a bunch of hillbillies kill a pig. I couldn't kill a turtle or fish to save my life. I say that now, and I hope it's true... but I suspect that would change.
I've been vegetarian for a long time, and more and more it's becoming a thoughtless habit. I don't even really think about not eating meat anymore. I guess it's becoming pretty common for people in North America to take the extreme spectrum in the crusade of dietary knowledge. Either you're a self-proclaimed carnivore (who are some of the most annoying people at dinnertime that I've ever met), or you couldn't hurt your little animal buddies. I don't know how well the neutral position is received.
I used to be all about saving lives, but I've become pretty apathetic as of late. So apathetic I'm lethargic.
Recently a friend informed me that I don't talk to anyone anymore, and that I disappeared off of the map. I guess it's easy to assume that someone doesn't talk to anyone when you don't make the effort to keep in touch. I miss some people, but not many people have made me feel like my loss of them socially is anything more then nostalgia prevailing in my day to day life.
What does being a castaway, neutral vegetarian, and lost socialite have in common? Just the idea that life is an amazing thing, but sometimes it's nice to be alone as well as selfish. If you think someone isn't talking to you, it's probably because you don't talk to them. If you think animals are happy that you're not eating them, they're not... because you're not doing them any favors other then what we can do with minimal restraint. And floating alone on a sea of desolation and despair? Well, there's a good chance that there are a bunch of other people out there with you, just beyond the horizon. There's a lot of ocean.

My family really helps me out.

2009-05-19T17:24:00.000-07:00

Things change so fast these days!

Man Booker

2009-05-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

Over the last few few days, a lot of things have happened to me. I've celebrated birthdays, slept on floors and couches, listened to personal accounts from 1941 onward, went to the hospital, became smitten with someone, had another person decide they never wished to speak to me again, agitated someone to the point of non-communication, been scammed by a company about a job, exposed the scam to six people, cooked dinner for a few people, talked to my Dad (which isn't very easy), gotten my foster parents annoyed at me, and written country songs. But with all this stuff, I haven't wanted to write anything down, and furthermore don't want to type any of my thoughts down. So, I've been reading other people's work.
It's awesome knowing that there are so many words arranged in so many ways that you can steal from people. For example:

"If we, citizens, do not support our artists, then we sacrifice our imagination on the alter of crude reality and we end up believing in nothing and having worthless dreams."

"I shall never again think that all tramps are drunken scoundrels, nor expect a beggar to be grateful when I give him a penny, nor be surprised when men out of work lack energy, nor subscribe to the Salvation Army, nor pawn my clothes, nor refuse a handbill, nor enjoy a meal at a smart restaurant. That is the beginning."

"It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy... let's go exploring!"

One day I hope something I write down will speak a bit louder then my actions in life, and I really hope that it's not a lie. Otherwise, it's probably just best for me to keep reading what other people have written, because nowadays you can't even trust yourself.

Tonight, tonight.

2009-05-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

My buddy Dom is letting me stay at his place for a few days because I don't live downtown Ottawa and I need to be here for a best friends birthday, band practise, and Dungeons and Dragons. It's really helping me out a lot, and I know a few people who would do this for me, but not enough. It's not that I deserve to have a thousand people throwing rooms at me or anything, but it would just be a lot cooler if people had no inhibitions about having people living for a few days at their apartments. I know they're called freeloaders and squatters and all that shit but it's still a hard knock life.
Anyways, my little brother broke his arm at football practise the other night and I was more bummed out then he was. I'm not particularly into sports, but I felt like he doesn't do that much, and I was really excited about his progress in the game. He's really got people's eyes on him when he plays, it's fucking wicked how good he is. After feeling upset that he wouldn't be able to play for the rest of this season, I discovered that I have the makings of the typical sports parent. Some of you people probably know what I'm talking about. That parent that's yelling at every coach and player about not giving their boy/girl a chance, waking up at 5 in the morning in order to have a protein-rich breakfast ready etc. They definitely are wicked for what they do, but sometimes they need to calm down.
My young cousin was recently cut from a high level hockey team. This kid is an awesome natural athlete, not to mention a really mature guy who handles situations with a maturity far beyond his age. If anyone should be playing on a serious team, it's this kid. I'm not really sure why he was cut, but it sucks because it's very easy to get a kid to stop loving something. The idea of cutting players for the benefit of the team, parents that push their kids with maniacal intensity, and sport so aggressive that kids are breaking their young bones doesn't really sit awesome with me. I don't mean taking away the competition, as well as winners and losers... but maybe just calming stuff down a little bit, so kids don't grow up to be as anti-sports as me.

Living Daylights

2009-05-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

So I play Dungeons and Dragons, and I really really enjoy it. It's something I should have started at a younger age for sure, and I see now how cool Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy really was. Our Dungeon Master had all of us right fictional character biographies... and here is mine. If anyone thinks I'm cool, stop reading my blog.
____________________________________________________
As a young boy, Argos Aenieas was never exceptional at anything. Living under the shadow of his brother Lauis, that natural athlete and gifted speaker, also made it difficult to become anything other then a farmers hand. Growing up on a farm helped Argos to become impressively mediocre and mundane. Not many dreams went through his head as he lay in bed, except the dreams that plague the young mind as it struggles to comprehend a life of repetition and eventual death by over-work. That’s exactly why the murder of his parents by his brother came as such a shock. With no motive or even inkling that this horrible crime would occur, Argos found himself without a Mother or a Father. Strangely Lauis passed over Argos, perhaps because of a sense of brotherhood. More likely it was the feeling of pointlessness: Argos was simply not important enough to kill.
Lauis had disappeared by the time the local magistrate and constable had discovered Argos alone in the house with his parents. In the town, there was no way any one family could afford to look after another child, and there was no desire to do so as Argos had made little to no effort to know anyone other then his work. Although there was intelligence in the boy, he was left with no fortune to enrol in an academy of any higher learning, whether it was magic or academia. With no money and no one to go to, Argos was put into an orphanage of the lowest order.
In the orphanage, Argos was forced to survive. Food was scarce, and as such children were forced to fight for their bread. Argos learned how to fight and survive, and kept his mind active by absorbing the other orphans stories, thus learning more about the world. He began to become more then mediocre, in that he was seen as a powerful figure, if only amongst the poorest of children in a home meant for the lost. He made and lost friends, but learned that the only person he could trust was himself. He felt no ill will towards anyone, and had no desire towards evil intentions. He simply worked for himself. As such, Argos was forced to forgo any belief in a higher power. How could any god be expected to reign in a world where everything was a variable?
By the age of fourteen Argos was a powerfully built young man, with enough charisma and self-awareness that he was given an opportunity. As orphanages are the first place to find cheap soldiers, he was granted a position in an intensive military academy. There he learned the specifics of combat, as opposed to just survival. As he grew farther away from that mediocre youth he once was, he began to forget about his brother Lauis and the brutal murder of his parents. Eventually the time came when he had to work to recollect that time of his life. Upon his graduation from the military academy however, this apathy took a turn.
Argos was told by his military trainer that his acceptance into the academy was not by chance. The soldiers that picked him out were given specific instructions from a mysterious stranger that he was to learn the ways of the warrior. The academy was paid well to take him in, and gave him as much experience as they had gathered. As he left his life of survival and constant struggle, memories of his family began to return and Argos became determined to discover the truth behind his brothers actions, as well as the truth behind the mysterious stranger that had decided Argos’ path.

I can relate to John Paul Jones (I don't care if I spelt his name wrong).

2009-05-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

Just saying, not mentioning certain things is the same as lying. I got in a lot of trouble for lying back in the day, but now I see the same people who gave me shit doing the same thing. Maturity!

For real though, sometimes you realize that your heroes are less grown up then you'd hoped, and that words are only words. They can be rearranged to make absolutely anything.

Your way with light.

2009-05-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

Things are always changing, and the more they change the more certain people hate it. A lot of people say they like and accept change, but they really only want it when it benefits them. It's all nice and dandy when some band gets signed and gets recognition, but why would anyone have any reason to feel happy for them? It's ultimately jealousy that pushes that unwarranted hatred. It has no positive affect on anyone, especially the person who harbours it.
Sometimes jealousy exists not just because you see yourself as having been wronged, but because that person has what you feel you're owed. It's impossible to convince someone under the sway of jealousy that there is no point to that emotion taking precedence. But they remain jealous, and we continue to throw our two cents at them. To all those that would try and help, I'd hate to see a jealous someone make a fortune every time you throw some sense their way.
In The Picture of Dorian Grey the main character lives far beyond his natural lifespan, and becomes increasingly vain and twisted in his own narcissism. In Philip Pullmans His Dark Materials and Milton's Paradise Lost the very angels in heaven are driven because of their lifespan and pride. Obviously the Nazi movement has been mainly influenced by the eugenics movement. For those who don't know, eugenics is the idea that certain races are genetically superior or inferior, and aims to eliminate those weak elements. I'm not going to waste anyones time by listing more examples, personal or not. My point is that this is not a new idea, and that it has permeate all aspects of society.
I'm a very jealous person. I know that I'm jealous for all the wrong reasons, and that's why I can say that it doesn't matter. I get angry when I hear someone complain about one thing and then go right back to that which caused them pain just because it's showing one glimpse of improvement. Instead of seeing hope, I see ignorance. I think most people are like this, and this unoriginality is probably leading to a lot of my self-deprecation. I know that I'm like most people, and that's why I think that Hobbes was right about mankind.
People see themselves on a higher level then everything else because of their huge capacity to rationalize, reason, and apply. I know I'm not the first person to say that it's this very brain capacity that leads us to jealousy and the other emotions that have made the last ten thousand years a violent tragedy. People are always mindful of what they don't have and that's why we'll continue to work more then we live. There has not been a century without war for at least three thousand years, and obviously before that as well (I just don't know enough examples off of the top of my head for pre-history). We've justified war to the point where people actually compare which ones were the best.
With all that, we still find happiness in little things. Driving home, seeing the sunrise, kissing a loved one, singing on the roof of your friends apartment, your twenty three minutes on stage, whatever. I guess my point is that the little things are way bigger then those huge things that people hate over. Some would say that people only get jealous of the little things. I disagree, but that's just me. Anyways, the little things are way more important then the big ones, and you don't have to kill, steal, work, hate, or lie about the little things.

New Millenium Cyanide Christ

2009-04-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

This was better then anything I could come up with. The world has not made an impression on me today.
________________________________________________
Geordon says:
Can you imagine if you had long hair like that?

Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car says:
would headbang all the time

Geordon says:
I think headbangers have developed immunity to headaches

Geordon says:
Headbanging kills me

Geordon says:
Not unlike gangster-styled warfare

Geordon says:
"Banging" if you will

Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car says:
yeah i dont headbang

Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car says:
hahaha

Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car says:
actualyl thas a lie

Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car says:
i spent all night headbanging to meshugga again last night

Geordon says:
As opposed to banging a girl named Meshugga

Geordon says:
Which would you rather do?

Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car says:
depends on my mood

Acer

2009-04-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my Mom, I have the means to fly anywhere I want in the world. Although I haven't really utilized it much, my goal when I'm nearly done school is to live in Paris, Prague, London, and Madrid for two weeks each. I'm going to live on as little money as possible, sleeping on benches if I have to, and taking notes the whole time. I want to understand what it mean to live in a place that you're not really familiar with, and I want to try and live as close to poverty as I can.
On my return trip, I'm going to take all the notes I made, and write a book in one month. The topic is going to be my personal experiences of semi-poverty (I understand that being able to leave whenever I want is pretty far from what I want to do, but I'm pretty strong-willed and I plan on achieving my time for each city) and how one is able to survive in such conditions.
I think this is really important, and while I'm not out to change the world, I would like to understand it a little more for myself. Instead of seeing the world as a North American, I'd like to know what it means to be homeless in Europe. George Orwell made it seem in Down and Out in Paris and London like living with no income can be easily sustained if you have the right company and you don't mind being surrounded by people in the same situation. He also wrote that if you can deal with pawning your stuff, you're good to go. I'm wondering if that's true at all.
I saw a homeless man reading on the street a few months ago, with a little light and everything. He seemed like he was generally comfortable. I've heard that homeless people aren't lazy or whatever, they just don't want to deal with the world the way the majority of our population does. Instead of stressing about bills and taxes, and becoming depressed over losing various things, they give up on it and learn to live without material possessions. According to some, they don't want help. They just want to be left alone. Maybe I'll come to the same decision after my trip. I'm not angry or depressed or anything, I'd just like to see if that life appeals to me, and I really want that to be my writing project.

Peanuts.

2009-04-24T20:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I just moved to my new residence, for anyone who was interested in why I've been so sketchy with updates. I find myself surrounded now by something that is not always going to last. On my north I have a beautiful lake, surrounded by trees. No joke, a beaver came up to the deck tonight and I was close enough to pet it. I have two boats at my disposal, as well as an entire library of science, evolution, comedy, satire, and drama. With all this, I'm still complaining about being slightly lonely.
Why do human beings crave each other? Obviously Chuck Bukowski had his own opinions on it, and most people seem to agree with him completely, at the same time checking texting about how right he is to all their friends. But enough Bukowski bashing... he's had it rough. I don't know why people crave each other, honestly and truly.
I'm not going to go on a rant about hating people or the harsh injustices that people commit in the name of friendship, loyalty, whatever. But I will ask, why do I want something like me? I don't mean another douchebag. When I say "something like me", I'm referring to a social creature that functions on the same level that I do. A mountain takes billions of years to form, and pebbles in the sand once could have been a side of that very mountain. We look at something like the Grand Canyon, but still praise our own changing nature and ability to adapt. Many people have even had the nerve to claim that the earth in all it's glory is roughly 6000 years old, and that the amazing nature of evolution was shaped by something just like us. "Shaped after our creator"? I think not. But that's a different argument, one which I've poorly made a few times now. I also think that having a personal faith that helps you get through the day is an awesome thing.
Regardless of this, I still really miss my Mom, my brothers, the Micks, my friends, and my cats. For anyone who's interested, I was inspired to ponder some of these "vastness of the world vs. the smallness of the human brain capacity" when watching the movie Independence Day. It's a really funny movie, in which an American President declares a world holiday and for some reason justifies the bombing of space ships that probably caused more damage when they crashed into the earth then if they had have stayed in orbit. To be fair, I'm completely wrong in that last comment, as I'd rather bomb them then face those motherfuckers on the ground.
So the earth has amazing geological features that we ignore on a daily basis. Falling space ships destroyed most of these and we cheered when the award-winner came out. Most people would rather see the desert as their desktop back round then as their backyard. All I know is that I am happier that I am turning my head and seeing the sun come up, instead of seeing at the other end of the room my pothead roommate giggling at America's Funniest Home Video's.

As a side note, my ex-roommate is being charged for theft, fined for failing to sign out of school, and left before he could clean anything up or get rid of the weed he had dropped in various spots on his side of the room. For anyone who has read enough of my blogs that they know how much this guy and I got along, you'll share in my pain that I will never again mention him on this level. Thanks for sharing this with me.

Drunk mouth, kitchen smile.

2009-04-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

And thus ends the great first year university experience. I move out tomorrow morning. I've packed all my stuff up, cleaned the room so that I don't get ripped more by the university tax people, and am now sitting waiting for the hours to pass. Looking at my stuff now, I'm realizing that my life up until this point can now be fit into two big bags, one backpack, some pockets, and one guitar case. I don't know if that's depressing or not... I suppose it all depends on who's evaluating me. The material men would call me a waste of life, but the economist would probably be pretty proud of me for making do with so little.
All of my jeans have holes ripped in the ass from skating, and my shirts are falling apart. I don't have any money, so I'm unable to get a pair that don't make me look homeless. Jeans are pretty fucking awesome, and I'm really noticing the lack of blues in my life. Not counting the "end-of-school broke blues" of course.
A lot of people are doing exactly what I am right now, it being that time of year and all. Some are going home and hanging with their families, probably in a fair amount of comfort. Others are going off to new and exciting homes in which they'll further their young life.
I'm not sure what people expect after a goal has been accomplished. Do they come up with something new, or just continue on making the goal even more accomplished? Ripping that goal a new asshole seems to be a good idea. I'm going to lose weight this summer, tour in the United States, save money to keep going to school, finish my left arm, but mainly I want to read a lot of books and write a report on each one of them. Maybe meet a cool girl? Whatever.

Don't swallow it Bill Murray!

2009-04-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

*Don't read if you don't like spoilers*

In the novel 1984 by George Orwell, the protagonist Winston Smith is caught by the party and tortured. He is arrested for something that is called "thought crime", and his journal that ultimately gave him freedom and at the exact same time took his life is destroyed before anyone other then O'Brian can read it. I've read this a few times now, and it took me awhile to relate that to my own life. Why write something if you know no one is ever going to read it? To my understanding, a lot of people keep journals, or at least make some sort of written account of their day to day lives. I've talked to some people who do this, and none of them really reread their past entries. Furthermore, 100% of the people who've stated this have also expressed the desire to have their journal published posthumously.
Studying tonight has brought me to a greater understanding of Unconditional Stimuli. Because of a past event, people can develop automatic responses to objects or situations. However, these responses are all on a completely individual basis. For example, a girl is scared of bridges because twenty years ago her father would drive over a small bridge close to their house and make jokes about accidently driving off the bridge. Why is she not scared of only that specific bridge, or why is she not scared of driving entirely? How come she can walk under a bridge? Why can she still drive in a car with her parent? There are a multitude of reasons that a person can be conditioned to irrational fear.
Many people write in journals to organize their thoughts, and even more people use a journal to complain to something that will listen with absolutely no bias. What is accomplished? It may act as stress relief, but it has to be incredibly momentary as it (on a personal level)is very hard to argue with oneself. Maybe the desire to have their writing read without their knowing is in everyone who keeps a journal. It is pretty ridiculous to imagine that these writers are speaking to a piece of paper or computer file, in that they are creating a living breathing listener out of something which is clearly not. These people must be crazy.
It's crazy to imagine that a dog can get hungry at the sound of a bell, with no food in sight or smell. Is the dog insane? Nowadays, anyone who expects something out of nothing, simply because they recognize a miniscule part of the procedure of getting said thing, would be called crazy or at the very least delusional. Therefore, by our own definition and admission, people who keep journals must be crazy. Fact? I hate coffee, but I drank it tonight expecting it would help me study. I did this knowing that it has a bad effect on me, and that the last thing I want to do is study. Is this an unconditional response to something I've learned over fourteen years of real reading? It's probably just a sign that I shouldn't do any writing at all when I'm hopped up, drunk, high, or tired. I'm not editing this.

Narcolepsy

2009-04-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

I think a lot of people identify with the era that they spent their childhood in. A lot more people identify with an era in which they wish they were around. It's pretty frustrating when people act like it's still the 80's or the late 70's. I recently met a goof who was wearing a top hat and dress suit, and does so regularly. I would say he identified with the late 19th century. Instead of calling myself a hardcore kid or punk rock kid or whatever, I'm pretty happy to come out of the closet as a 90's kid. I think people need to admit it. Third Eye Blind, Goo Goo Dolls, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, etc. These bands flourished in the 90's, and those are the bigger bands, nevermind the plethora of punk rock, indie, and hip hop songs that came to being. 90's fashion was awesome, just take your hints from Pearl Jam's video for "Alive". Need I say more then plaid shorts and Doc Martin's?
Fashions and whatnot aside, the 90's were a big mix of experiences for me. I was incredibly unhappy with everything, but it was the best time for me to spend time with myself and really get into fantasy, Batman, all that jazz. There's a lot of things that are embarassing, and I would say that I'm regretful of many aspects of my childhood, but that's just part of the whole growing experience. Also, I don't remember ever being so incredibly emotional when it comes to dealing with my parents and family. Right now I'm trying to be a pretty mature person, but I really miss the days when I didn't have to act my age.
The late 90's sucked, and the early 2000's were no better. I think any period of time when Prodigy looked to take over the musical world is pretty harsh. I would also credit it as being the second worst couple of years I've ever experienced. I've found that I'm really not compatible with those guys and girls who were semi-mature during that time. My fucking roommate can't stop listening to Polish rap, Prodigy, and various techno. I'm pretty open to music, but fuck.
My point? I've been pretty serious over the last little while, and I still have three exams to go, not to mention no money, a house hunt, understanding why girls only date the same guys and vice versa, establishing a relationship with my father, getting over lethargic self-attitudes, and a bunch of other stuff. But this stuff is really not bad at all and I complain a lot. So my point is that everyone needs to listen to Third Eye Blind's self-titled first album, get off their fucking coach, and do something nice for a person who has to deal with being a kid in 2009.

Accord-O-Matic

2009-04-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

Oh man, so down today. To the three people that read this, it's been a bad week.

But just think of Smilin' Obama!

Look no further stranger, you've found em'.

2009-04-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

Kind of ridiculous? I think so.

Where I live, there's a lot of guys that are extremely territorial with ex-girlfriends. This isn't a new thing, it happens most places. It's incredibly frustrating, if only from a women's rights standpoint, nevermind a "I want to meet someone/are girls allowed to choose their own dude" point of view. But again, this is young people. I'm young, and to quote Bob Dylan, it took me a long time to get young. But I don't stick to only one interest. I like to branch out. Do I sound like a scumbag? Yeah.
I dated a girl for a long time who would break up with me, and then continue to get in touch with me in order to date again. I fell for it a couple of times, but like any on again/off again relationship it was destined to fail. It just gets easier to break up. It's not that I regret it, but I think it should be said I'm short one Owen hoodie, and one Batman: The Animated Series Season One dvd. It was not a fair trade.
My point is though, that people break up for a reason. I don't believe that a couple exists after they decided that they needed to break it off. Am I the only person who thinks that when someone says, "I don't want to see you again, we don't work together and I'm unhappy", they probably have a pretty good reason for it, and it's very unlikely that those feelings will completely disappear somewhere in a brain where we are using only 3% of it's total power?
Break up, cry, move on. That's the way it is guys and gals. Or better yet, don't exclude yourselves to anyone, and just have fun with friends of both sexes. Maybe people would be less homophobic if marriage didn't exist. Maybe? Bro's don't usually change.

Jet Black

2009-04-12T12:39:00.000-07:00

The thoughts stay the same!
_________________________________________________

Beside the pounding cataracts
Of midnight streams unknown to us,
’T is builded in the dismal tracts
And valleys huge of Tartarus.
Lurid and lofty and vast it seems;
It hath no rounded name that rings,
But I have heard it called in dreams
The City of the End of Things.

Its roofs and iron towers have grown
None knoweth how high within the night,
But in its murky streets far down
A flaming terrible and bright
Shakes all the stalking shadows there,
Across the walls, across the floors,
And shifts upon the upper air
From out a thousand furnace doors;
And all the while an awful sound
Keeps roaring on continually,
And crashes in the ceaseless round
Of a gigantic harmony.
Through its grim depths reëchoing,
And all its weary height of walls,
With measured roar and iron ring,
The inhuman music lifts and falls.
Where no thing rests and no man is,
And only fire and night hold sway,
The beat, the thunder, and the hiss
Cease not, and change not, night nor day.

And moving at unheard commands,
The abysses and vast fires between,
Flit figures that, with clanking hands,
Obey a hideous routine.
They are not flesh, they are not bone,
They see not with the human eye,
And from their iron lips is blown
A dreadful and monotonous cry.
And whoso of our mortal race
Should find that city unaware,
Lean Death would smite him face to face,
And blanch him with its venomed air;
Or, caught by the terrific spell,
Each thread of memory snapped and cut,
His soul would shrivel, and its shell
Go rattling like an empty nut.

It was not always so, but once,
In days that no man thinks upon,
Fair voices echoed from its stones,
The light above it leaped and shone.
Once there were multitudes of men
That built that city in their pride,
Until its might was made, and then
They withered, age by age, and died;
And now of that prodigious race
Three only in an iron tower,
Set like carved idols face to face,
Remain the masters of its power;
And at the city gate a fourth,
Gigantic and with dreadful eyes,
Sits looking toward the lightless north,
Beyond the reach of memories:
Fast-rooted to the lurid floor,
A bulk that never moves a jot,
In his pale body dwells no more
Or mind or soul,—an idiot!

But some time in the end those three
Shall perish and their hands be still,
And with the masters’ touch shall flee
Their incommunicable skill.
A stillness, absolute as death,
Along the slacking wheels shall lie,
And, flagging at a single breath,
The fires shall smoulder out and die.
The roar shall vanish at its height,
And over that tremendous town
The silence of eternal night
Shall gather close and settle down.
All its grim grandeur, tower and hall,
Shall be abandoned utterly,
And into rust and dust shall fall
From century to century.
Nor ever living thing shall grow,
Or trunk of tree or blade of grass;
No drop shall fall, no wind shall blow,
Nor sound of any foot shall pass.
Alone of its accurséd state
One thing the hand of Time shall spare,
For the grim Idiot at the gate
Is deathless and eternal there!

- Archibald Lampman, The City of the End of Things
________________________________________________

Alarm clock rings, I crawl out of bed. I'm not looking forward to what lies ahead. All day i'm like a zombie, the working dead. Today's gonna be a boring day. I know it. I'm not interested in what I'm doing. I show it. I wish that i could walk away. You know? We're all the same. Would happiness be worth the wait? Would all the mondays be worth the pain? Some say they'll see. I don't agree. Nose to grindstone. Everyday I walk to work and say, I wish that I could go somewhere where time's not despised, clocked in and put in line, but "that's the way it goes." Spending our years pinned as slaves. Tired and under-paid, while no one ever knows what life's about. Work to survive until we're 65 and then it's time to die. Nose to grindstone. Everyday I walk to work and say, "I wish that I could go." Working so hard just to survive, until we're 65 and then it's time to cry with the rest of them. Die with the best of them. We lie to ourselves and think that life's exciting. We cry... We die. We lie... we die without ever knowing what we could have done with ourselves.
- Kid Dynamite, Death and Taxes

Capitalism stole my other virginity.

2009-04-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

In a continuation of yesterdays thought, I'm going to make this part two.

A higher being does not exist. It is beautiful to imagine that when we die, we go to a perfect place, and that everything we do in this life is preparation. To imagine that when we lose a loved one, we will get to see them in another form, only a lifetime away, is beyond utopia. One life is not a long time. Most people above the age of thirty five will say the same thing: Once your twenties are gone, life starts to move very quickly.
People look forward to the afterlife because of the hardships of this life. That's why we endure the fallacies of modern life. It's incredible to imagine that people base their entire life on servitude to something that they don't even know exists. A difference between me and Mother Teresa is summed up in the statement, "It's called having faith, something less-disciplined people would know anything about". Let's be honest. For every answer that religion provides, another hundred questions is brought up. Faith answers nothing, and provides people with a false hope. More people can explain religion as a social tool then I can, that's not what I want to talk about. I would rather just tell the few people that read this, and one in particular, that there is no reason to give up.
It's a small world, and we're all here together. Lots of people have it way worse then us. Lots of people have said this before, and intellectuals on both sides of the religious spectrum will rip me apart for writing these unoriginal ideas down. But the simple fact of it all is, when you forget the people the people that "know" the earth is six-thousand years old, and the pretentious guys and gals that follow atheism as a religious doctrine, we're all in this together, and we've got to make it as good a place for each other as we can.
You're never going to see your lost loved ones again, and that's exactly why you have to cherish them today. The reason we should treat each other with respect, concern, and compassion is simply because absolutely nothing deserves to suffer. Love doesn't make the world go around. Gravitational pull does. That doesn't change the fact though, that we feel a connection to each other as human beings, and that that connection should be treated with more importance then anything that we have in common with a million and one gods.

Let's be honest here... capitalism really did steal my virginity.

2009-04-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

Usually I get pretty lonely if I spend too much time alone, but sometimes it changes. I think that if I put myself in the situation, I could definately get used to living by myself in a cabin in the woods. I'd take a dog with me, some food, a lot of books, maybe a guitar or harmonica as well. There's been plenty of litereature written expressing this same desire (The Catcher in the Rye, Into The Wild, Mockingbird Wish Me Luck, etc.) so I think a lot of people are down. It doesn't take depression to instigate this kind of thought in people. Sometimes it's as easy as a v-neck and an Ipod.
With entire buildings dedicated to buying and selling shit, filled with people trying to rip you off on a pair of shoes that you could easily steal from Value Village, it's a wonder that no one has tried bombing these places. Wait... was Ted Kazinsky really that wrong? Yeah, probably.
Should primitivist anarchists get their wish? I personally hold The Story of B and Ishmael to be two of the finest books written in our generation, and I have read and reread them enough times for three people (therefore, three times idiots). I don't think we should let Africa starve to even out the population because of the obvious population crisis, but I am convinced that this planet can only sustain 500 000 000 human beings.
God doesn't exist. Religion is just nonsense. It's absolutely ridiculous that people are still debating this. Why is it taking so long? Face the fact, two monkeys decided to fuck missionary for once, and we got less hairy,. Deal with it(taken from The Hunting Hypothesis). It's a pretty small planet, and we're completely insignificant. Why do we have to worry about what happens after? We've got a short time, let's make it as good as it can be for everyone.
Eating meat is still killing something. It's a fact. In agreeing with a lot of activists, I would definately rather eat a human then an animal. At least with animals you don't care if they understand, it seems like they're listening. Humans are just waiting to tell you their stupid story. Out of 6 000 000 000, I like about 20. I don't know if that is good enough for saving the world yet. True, I think that North Americans are a pretty big waste of space, but still, the lethargic attitude is there.
Why read about history? It's gone. It's never coming back. Let's stand and activate for the future (Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes). That means there really should be a lot of people out of a job, working in the dirt. They shouldn't be able to feed their oversized families or put gas in their shitty cars. There shouldn't be any concept albums that people don't want to listen to.
Better yet, who cares? What ever happened to Saturday night? Philosophy, war, changing the world, eating habits, sex, making money, owning shit, doing well in school, worry about your relationship, worrying about the future, Yahweh, Buddha, Allah, Zarathustra, Lemmy, Rob Halford. God doesn't exist, and our time is short. I think we can save all that shit for the rest of the week.

I just want to be friends with you!

2009-04-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

It seems that sometimes people validate themselves by the people that surround them. People surround themselves by people they want to see, and if there's that deviation then they tend to get pretty upset with it. I've known a lot of people who pride themselves on how well they maintain relationships with people. Basically the kind of people that walk into a room and twenty people come over for hugs. Obviously, social networking tools help those kinds of relationships out. In addition, these are the same people that calls everyone their friend. There is no division between "friend" and "acquaintance".
When I was younger, this made a lot of sense to me. The idea that a person is only happy if they're surrounded by a bunch of other people. Being young, pretty chubby and ugly, as well as having conflicting interests with my hockey-jock school mates, I was constantly betrayed by my own self-doubt, and as such was completely uncapable of having that circle of friends. Anyways, all sob stories aside, I learned over time that I was unable to maintain or even really care about most people. I don't mean this in a nihilstic, Ted Kazinsky kind of way. I just had my few close friends, and that was it.
That youthful circle of friends has changed. Nowadays, people generally spend their time on the computer reading what other people have to say, attempting to stay in contact with other people. When they get off of that box-of-decay, they're generally spending most of their time on the phone. The amount of times I've gone to dinner or something with someone and they will spend most of the conversation on their cell phone. Fuck you kid, I'm right in front of you. Generally, that just tells me that these people consider a three-inch screen with abbreviations and slang (without mentioning that this slashing of a language is destroying the concept of talking. Me doublethink this doublebad. If you don't know what that means, then you definately need to read more)to be more important then the person they're with. I know that I leave my place so that I don't have to deal with long-distance communication.
The solution? I really don't know. It's sad to say that people would fucking collapse without their phones. I use facebook and msn, and I keep in touch with absolutely everyone I choose with no problem at all.
People's dependence is pretty frightening. I still remember when we had to stay off of the phone if we wanted to use the internet. When, in the last eight years, did we go from being free-thinking individuals with the brain capacity to write a letter or walk an hour in order to meet someone, to being this pathetic, useless, dependent, neurotic (there are people who can't turn their phones/msn/facebook off) plugged-in generation?

I don’t want to misdirect you.
I don’t care to be friends with you.
I don’t need to hold my hands to you.

You’re one in a million faces that I don’t want to know.
You’re another car drive I wish I hadn’t drove.

I don’t want to grow old with you.
I won’t do anything you ask me to do.
I’ll leave before I wake up next to you.

I’ll never lose the time on a train with you.
I’ll never give a child my name for you.
I won’t go through hell and back for you.

You’re one in a million faces that I don’t want to know.
You’re another car drive I wish I hadn’t drove.
You’re a flight through Moscow out of a broken home.
You’re as wanted as the first brick of Rome.

Burlington, Ontario

2009-04-03T05:54:00.000-07:00

This has to be relatively short, because I'm going to Vermont in about thirty minutes, but I'll do my best. This is my first show ever played outside of Canada, and I'm beyond excited. The only thing that is making me slightly apprehensive is the fact that the Border Guards have every right to turn us away without a reasonable excuse. We've been preparing our story and passports and everything for a week now. "Hi officer, how're you? Oh, we're just heading into the good ol' U S of A to witness a friends music show, and go on a fashionable shopping spree." It's stupid but it's got to be done, especially when you don't yet have your working visa. Bummer.

One tank of gas: $30.
$47 American: $60.
Workers Visa: $500.
Not getting to move over an imaginary line to be with your family: Priceless.

Progression Through Unlearning

2009-04-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't for Third Eye Blind, I wouldn't like this song.

I love the idea of progression, and learning. I started listening to one band, and because of covers and influences, I continued to move on. Moving to NoFX, then to Minor Threat, and eventually getting to The Byrds, Woodie Guthrie, and on and on. That's it.

You look like I need a drink...

2009-03-31T18:46:00.001-07:00

I'm only ever going to be pretty good at things. I've been playing bass guitar since grade eight or so, and after I learned to play a few Pennywise songs, began to slow down. Like an infant, I did all of my learning in the first three years and then... end. Now I can only look cool playing an instrument, but the musicians around me know what's really up. It's a fact, and I learned to live with it.
Skateboarding? I can ollie, ride ramps, drop in, power slide... everything that's needed to look cool. When I kick, I smack my foot down and really push my leg out, creating the appearance of being care free and assured. Unfortunately for the viewers, no one will ever see me look as cool when I'm falling off of my board and smacking my already-broken wrists on the pavement that's about as cracked as my pride.
I'm not bad at card games, but I can't really move on. There was something about the words "go fish" that held me enthralled and stopped me from becoming a poker champion. Card tricks always fucked me up. I could do this "four kings" trick pretty well. I'd be lying if I didn't amaze one or two cousins when I managed to bring the four thieves to the top of the deck, without touching one of them. However, when it came to cutting the deck, I was about as steady as a palsey patient practicing brain surgery with a wrench.
When it came to writing, I've always been okay at conveying my thoughts. But let's be honest
here. How hard is it to tell someone what you're thinking? I just go the step further by writing it down in a non-journal format. Essentially I'm acting less intelligent then people who just talk about this. I'm wasting time by finding synonyms for complacent (egoistic, contented, serene, smug, obsequious), and looking for a way to describe other people as such. Not to mention the fact that a Teachers Assistant described a paper I happened to be pleased with as "Awkward, uncomfortable, and entirely unedited".
I'm teaching myself to write and draw with my left hand. Is this going to be a success? Probably, but the kind of success that people comment with "that's cool, but maybe it'd be easier if you did it like this", or, "oh yeah, I did that when I was twelve, but I think I've forgotten how... oh wait, guess I still can."

"It's alright Mom, I'm only sighing."

2009-03-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm probably wrong, but it seems to me that everyon at some point or another meets and knows someone that they respect more then themself. This can be for any number of reasons, be they reasons involving physical attraction, talent, intelligence, whatever. This person probably doesn't even realize that they're looking up at someone else, and the idolized person doesn't realize they've become an idol. Again, this is an over-generalization, but it's what I've seen from the people in my life, and some philosophers would say that if a person hasn't met, talked to, and physically touched someone, then they don't yet exist.
When I was younger I knew a guy who was a great musician. I'm not going to name names, situation, or ages, but just know that this guy was older then me by a few years, and that he still manages to amaze me by what he can accomplish. He's been writing music for a long time, and actually achieved success. Maybe not commercial success... no one as of yet has heard any of his songs on the radio. The success he's achieved is the success I would be happier with. I'm going to listen to and enjoy his music for a long time, and I think it's the same way for a lot of people that happened to be around him at the time.
It's really funny, but he is very much like Bob Dylan. Maybe the main difference is that he is a more powerful songwriter then Dylan. I'm sure all the "Save Africa" idiots in school will argue that "none can be more powerful in their lyrical onslaught then the mighty Bob Dylan", but it's all about who can get closer to you using something that doesn't include you.
After watching No Direction Home, I can't help but feel upset that some people get all the luck. This guy has put so much into his work, and has hyet to achieve that success that (I feel at the least) he deserves more then most, if not all of the musicians that had have/had surfaced the same time as him. I understand that music is based mainly on the names you can call upon, or the connections you have at your disposal. This doesn't change the fact that I would kill for a return to the days when your success was based on your work.
Not picking out any bands/musicians specifically, I just think that a lot of people take for granted those special bands and people that end up meaning more to them then the huge bands with songs that 3 million people can relate to. So, ignoring the obvious message of "support your local band", moreso just don't let go of those little things that mean more then the momentary huge ones.

2009-03-28T07:41:00.001-07:00

Today I was walking into the cafeteria to get some breakfast, and I walked past a girl I know. We don't know each others names or anything, but we're on the "Hey how're you", "Good, you?", "Good", basis. As I walked past her she looked at me, furrowed her forhead and said, "Woah... you alright?" A little taken aback from this change in conversation I replied, "I hope so. Why? Do I look rough?" To which she responded, "Yeah, you're not looking great at all."
Such honesty! I wonder if she was being a good, bad, or neutral person? I suppose if we're going to answer that question, we have to establish who the target is. Talking to someone like me, it's probably okay. I can deal with looking rough, if it's only from time to time. I don't know how well a lady would take her appearance described as rough, but I think the wound would singe for about three minutes and then fade to black. On the other hand, what if we saw a cancer/AIDS/amputee/burn/instantaneous decapitation victim walking down the street? Would it be nice to tell them that they honestly and truely look rough?

Xavier: Woah... you alright?
Amputee Al: I think so, what do you mean?
Xavier: Well dude, you look like you're kind of sick, and you appear to be way shorter then before.
Amputee Al: Well, I have leprosy, and because of it I'm now at the risk of sporadically losing various body parts.
Xavier: I knew you looked rough for a reason!

The majority of girls have their wedding day planned out from the age of 7. What if that day comes, and they have put on a few pounds, or they're so stressed out that the pimples are playing Roman? This is the most important day of her life. Should someone have the guts to tell her, "I wouldn't marry you right now, but I'm happy for you." ?
Lying is considered a flaw, but white lying is nice. Obviously, white is considered a holy colour (although Rastafarian, Islamist, and Hindu people would have a small problem with that statement) and a white lie is one that has been "wiped clean". Basically, a white lie went to confessional. Everyone asks this question, but a white lie doesn't have to be on a small scale. How about the President not reporting what happened in Vietnam to the American citizens? Most people would protest in anger, "We have the right to the truth!" I think the governments response would be a simple Jack Nicholson line: "You can't handle the truth." It's the same idea, but just on a larger scale. I don't know if white lies are bad or not, especially since there are so many situations in which they are acceptable or not. I'm just going to go out on a limb and quote someone everyone will recognize:

"If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say 'God bless you.' You should say 'You're so good looking!'"

Trusty

2009-03-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

I wrote a joke the other day:

I love the strategy of getting a gorgeous girl to sell something. You know what I mean? For example, I’m walking down a hallway the other day, and I see this absolutely gorgeous girl sitting behind some sort of stand. My first thought is, “Oh look, a babe. What’s she selling… Nazi memorabilia and Swastika pins? Right on”. I think it’d be just as effective if they utilized the opposite of a beautiful girl to sell things. Like a deformed mutant, or a car crash. “Oh look honey, a train has derailed and gone into a 19th century home. Let’s see if we can get a deal on a product not normally sold in shopping centres.”

I don't plan on dropping out of university anytime soon, trust me.

Concatenation

2009-03-22T22:02:00.000-07:00

"Prior to the involvement of the Stalinist forces, the Anarcho-Syndicalist and Free-Socialist supporters were far more successful in their establishment of Socialist theory in practice, and it was more beneficial to the citizens of the anti-fascist Spanish factions then any previous socialist coup of the 20th Century. With the single other main Communist overthrow taking place in Russia, the Spanish Communist coup and society of 1936 to 1939 serves as a stronger example of a flourishing Socialist society then the October Revolution and eventual Bolshevik takeover of 1917."

This is the thesis that I have come up with for my final essay of my first year of university. It's not bad at all, right? I mean, reading this, you'd imagine that I had prepared this for a bit. It definately isn't great, but I think it's an interesting topic, and I think the few paragraphs that I have read on the topic will help me write one page of this 15 page essay. Looking past the sizeable words and whatnot, let's examine what this thesis says about me.
It doesn't say that I'm intelligent, nor does it state that I agree wholeheartedly with anarchist principles. It definately doesn't support the theory that I can achieve some sort of significant change in the world using my unmatched intellect. It doesn't say that I've read much on the topic, and it doesn't really let anyone know that I have had nearly two months to come up with a good essay, and this thesis was written tonight, with the essay being due on Wednesday.
This thesis says that I'm a guy who's always wanted to be smart, but was never quite able to get to it, and it shows that I'm still writing in a blog that a few people read. So maybe I'm a lazy guy who needs to sort out his priorities? Ladies, any takers?

Damn it all.

2009-03-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

I may get shit on for this one, but I'm not worried.

"Cops put a hurtin' on your ass, man, y'know? They really degrade you. White folks don't believe that shit, don't believe cops degrade you. [They say,] "Oh, c'mon, those people were resisting arrest. I'm tired of this harassment of police officers." People live in [a while] neighborhood, and [all his whte neighbors] be knowin' the man as Officer Timson. "Hello, Officer Timson, going bowling tonight? Yes, nice Pinto you have. Ha, ha." Niggers don't know 'em like that. See, white folks get a ticket, they pull over [and say], "Hey Officer, yes, glad to be of help." Nigger got to be talkin' about "I am reaching into my pocket for my license! 'Cause I don't wanta be no muthafuckin' accident!"
- (The Great) Richard Pryor

Minorities have been living with this fear of Police Officers for as long as they have been labelled as a "minority". Can you imagine living a life where this normal? What a fucking paradox it is that when I see a cop coming, I feel worried, and have this sense of doubt that I can stay under this assholes radar. Remember those motherfuckers that killed the Polish immigrant, Robert Dziekanski, by tasering him to death? This is a common occurence. For some reason, we're still expected to believe that organized crime is the problem. What about the criminals who are given legal freedom? Cops don't make us feel safe. They enforce an invisible set of rules that are already part of most people's moral makeup. Is it expected that North America will fall apart without them? Fuck cops.

Bury Me in Smoke

2009-03-20T09:19:00.001-07:00

I think I'm becoming a bro. A jock. A dick monkey, a pussy-pusher, a brewskie-drinkin'-browskie. The weather the last couple of days has been incredible, and like most Canadians I appreciate the weather that comes more then I should, especially since I know it's coming anyways. I'm going on a day long bike ride with my buddy Dom on Saturday. To top it off, I'm listening to Down a lot. For those of you who don't know, Down is comprised of members of Pantera, Crowbad etc, and it's basically southern rock and roll with weed. So, does my enjoyment of physical activities, bad music, and babes make me a jock?
"Jock" has a few meanings:

1. An athletic supporter.
2. Sports- An athlete, especially in college.
3. Slang- One characterized by excessive concern for machismo

History:

1952, short for jockstrap "supporter of the male genital organs, used in sports" (1897), from jock slang for "penis" c.1650-c.1850, probably from Jock, the nickname for John, which was used generically for "common man" from 1508. Meaning "an athletic man" is from 1963, Amer.Eng. slang.

So a jock is a guy who is athletic, and has an overdose of testosterone. Does that mean we should rip on any dude that likes sports? I've got the frightening idea that most people are afflicted with jock qualities. For example, jocks are known for living sports, and girls. I would consider a sport a physical activity that most people enjoy in some way or another. Furthermore human beings, and in actual fact, all animals pursue sexual intercourse to one degree or another. I know what I think about 93% of the time, and I know I'm not the only one. As for the machismo? Many people, myself included, have their "tough" moments. Machismo is essentially those aggressive actions that come from testosterone, and even has that in their systems.

Let's examine the flip side for a second. What do we get when we take away sex, physical activity, and bouts of machismo? We get that fat dude that goes out to buy pizza pockets in order to continue his Sailor Moon marathon, followed by Van Helsing: Vampire Hunter 3000, completed with Escaflowne (the series, not the feature film. It was met with negative reviews). Basically, that guy that we're not overly impressed with. I sound like an asshole, but who honestly sees a person like that and shouts out a joyous call of approval?

I don't really have anything good to say as my conclusion, unfortunately. I make fun of jocks all the time, and for the most part I consider them to be the antithesis to my lifestyle. But after lots of soul-searching, I'm forced to declare that I am a jock. If you enjoy sports, sex, and being sassy, that you're a jock as well. Jock is just another word for a normal, North-American human being. If you're not a jock, then you're probably the alternative.

The kingdom of Heaven must be taken by storm.

2009-03-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

Remember when our asses didn't hang off the bed every morning? Yeah, it was a few years ago now for me...

Laugh all you want, but this is an issue motherfuckers! I have to go to the gym and watch what I eat, just so I can look less fat, let alone svelt. When I work out, there's dudes there with arms that rival my waste in inches. I'm sure there are girls out there that aren't all into these guys, but it's intimidating nontheless. I mean, the 90's was the decade where guys and girls were comparing themselves to Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, the entire cast of Mortal Combat, the Terminator, and the countless women that made young girls insecure about themselves. It's a shame, but those movies ruled.
Girls, there's nothing wrong with curves at all! It's hot as hell, I dream nightly about grabbin' onto some meaty thighs, and just rollin' around as if I was a weiner in tomato sauce. If that description doesn't make you want to eat, then I'm not going to even compare the vagina to clam chowder. But seriously, there are so many girls that are so beautiful, and it seems that the more naturally gorgeous they are, the more insecure they are about their hips, shoulder, arms, thighs, neck, or cheeks. Only assholes care that much about how you look and though I understand how a girl can only be into dickheads (?), I think you should start looking at those other guys as well. The ones playing Dungeons and Dragons.
I know a dude named Dom, who is by far one of the best guys I know. To quote the gent, "Dude, just love the fat. It's gotta be done." Who fucking cares if you've got a bit of a gut? Who gives a shit if you look more jolly then you do sick? Go with it, and realize that girls are way more attracted to your confident nature then your 37 pack. It's way cooler when you can actually give someone the beat down then if you just look like you can give someone the beat down. Anyways, I'm turning down girls and turning on amps. Sweet dreams!

October 5th, page 268.

2009-03-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

"It is really wonderful how much resilience there is in human nature. Let any obstructing cause, no matter what, be removed in any way - even by death - and we fly back to first principles of hope and enjoyment."

Tonight I made one last effort to reconnect with someone who was quickly becoming part of my personal history. I was driving home thinking about how I wanted to wake them up, and make my last plea. It ended up failing, and as the hope died before anything came to fruition, I felt before I knew that I had given up. It doesn't matter if this is a friend, love, relative, pet, favourite writer, band, whatever. I don't like writing anything that is overly personal and pathetic, there's plenty of space for those thoughts in my head, let alone the internet.
I'm feeling good. I'm ready to go back to Ottawa in a few days after visiting my Mom, family, and few friends. I feel like the last strings that held me here are gone, and I can stay where I want. It's cheesy, lame, and cliche, but it's true. I guess it's the same feeling that Eevee had when she was able to see and bend the bars of her cage, instead of accepting that they're just part of her life.

Heroin Hero.

2009-03-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

I'm hanging out with my family in my house, and I'm really happy to see them. I haven't spent time with any of them in about three months, and as soon as I got into the house my Mom made me an awesome breakfast. Spinach and cheese omelette, with salt and peppered sweet peas. Delicious! In honour of my Moms awesome breakfast, I'll share a story about my Mom that's been a huge hit at box socials.
My Mom works for Air Canada. She works in the union office now, but she used to work as a Check-In Assistant. Basically, she was the woman you talked to when you wanted to check in to a specific flight, pretty basic. About twelve years ago she's at work, and her friend comes up to her and says,
"Did you hear?"
Mom: "No, what's going on?"
Friend: "You're going to be checking Bon Jovi onto a flight!"
Backround information. My Mom is a really active woman, and she's pretty outspoken. In this particular instance, she confused Bon Jovi with Axel Rose, a convicted woman abuser and whatnot. My Mom wasn't going to stand for this asshole Axel Jovi. So, she has Axel Rose and Bon Jovi confused. Back to the main story.
This little guy who is obviously not just any normal person comes up to the check-in counter. My Mom sees him coming but makes no sort of recognition, basically just ignores him. He politely (apparently Bon Jovi is the nicest guy in the world) asks my Mom when they will be boarding the plane. She coldy takes her time before replying, "Sir, you're going to have to wait like everyone else. Please don't take up our time if there isn't an emergeny." Slightly take aback, Bon Jovi goes to sit down for a bit. After a little while, he comes back up and says, "I was wondering if I could go get a drink before boarding. Do you think there's any way someone could notify so I don't miss the flight? I'm awful with timing hahahahaha." Mom looks up and says, "Sir, you're in charge of yourself. Don't expect anyone to make up for your mistakes." Remember, she thinks she's talking to a wife-beater here. So he sits down quietly, and eventually gets on the plane. A little while later, a rumour comes about that Bon Jovi refuses to ever set foot on a plane with the sign, Air Canada. My Mom is now a legend among Air Canada employees as the person who was as mean as possible to the nicest rock star on the planet.
Even though she now realizes her mistake, isn't it awesome to think that my Mom could be a story that Bon Jovi tells his family to explain the reason he hates flying?

Agnostic Buddhism

2009-03-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

My Mom and my brother went to buddhism classes for four weeks. After his fourth week, my brother said, "Fuck this, it's way too hard". I know how cool it is to love buddhism and support it, and claim that it's the only religion worth sticking by, but let's examine for a moment what every buddhist life should entail:

1. To refrain from taking life (non-violence towards sentient life forms)
2. To refrain from taking that which is not given (not committing theft)
3. To refrain from sensual (including sexual) misconduct
4. To refrain from lying (speaking truth always)
5. To refrain from intoxicants which lead to loss of mindfulness (specifically, drugs and alcohol)
6. To refrain from eating at the wrong time (only eat from sunrise to noon)
7. To refrain from dancing and playing music, wearing jewelry and cosmetics, attending shows and other performances
8. To refrain from using high or luxurious seats and bedding

Now, I know a lot of people who don't follow any of this but love it. In actual fact, this is way fucking harder then what the Catholics or Christians have to do in order to maintain their reservation in heaven. Anyways, back to my story. My Mom gave up on Catholiscism for her own reasons, which I agree are justified. She's an incredibly strong women, and for her to loose faith in something that has been a major part of her entire life, then there must've been a big reason right? How about someone give me the reason why everyone is suddenly attracted to Buddhism. Yeah, it looks cool, but really look at it. It's hard to live.
Everyone loves Tibetan Buddhism right? Of course they do, because they haven't looked into it back a few years, before they lost power. Know who had plenty of slaves, manservants, wealth, and luxuries available at every hour of every day? Yeah, you don't need three guesses. Know who 100% supported and funded the armed violent resistance of underground buddhists against the Chinese? Again, you're not even going to need one guess. Know who killed a thousand children with his bare hands?... Okay, that last one was a bad joke, I don't think the the Dalai Lama did that.
My point is this: You can't rip the heart out of one religion, but then support another. Buddhism is just as much a religion as it's a lifestyle. I love the story of the Buddha, I think it's an awesome work of fiction. I think most religions are great stories... but that's all they are anymore. Pretty soon God, Zeus, Odin, Yahweh, Osiris, Zoraster, Xenu, all those guys are going to be the same thing, to everyone. Just don't claim you're right over other people, and if you're going to stick with something i.e. Buddhist living, then do it they way it's supposed to be. Sorry, but if we're going to stick with religion for this long without it changing, then there's no room for change now.

The troops are the only good guys I know...

2009-03-11T11:24:00.001-07:00

The world doesn't have enough:

Owl tattoos, zombie tattoos, bands named after Chuck Bukowski poems, people that feel that their suburban life is filled with pain and angst and that that angst is perfectly reflected in Chuck Bukowski's poetry, really skinny jeans, really ripped skinny jeans, people that KNOW they're punk rock by letting people know in their "about me's" that they're punk rock, Facebook for Blackberry Applications, cell phones, hang outs, gettin' good, mealin', vitamin water, atheists that base their argument on "if god existed, why is there pain in the world?", people who stand and cross their arms for every band at shows, people who scowl and cross their arms at shows, people who hug and cross their arms at shows, band zines, Stay Golders, people that want to bring back prohibition, people that are obviously educated about life because they went on a road trip to Chicago to see some power violence band, power violence bands, people that claim smoking DOESN'T look cool, girls that love band dudes and don't give the Dungeons and Dragons dude any chance, spacers, black hats, Support the Troops stickers, fixed-gear bicycles, acoustic side projects, people that have liked punk rock their "whole life" and rip on bands for "straying to far from their punk rock roots", and people that never listened Third Eye Blind.

Kind of makes you wonder how original we can be, doesn't it?

In My Eyes

2009-03-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

I was riding in the car with my good friend Mariful. Him being a very educated guy, and me being less then so, I was listening to his theories on anarchism, activist anarchism, and believing in the principles of anarchism. Before I get into it, I'm not just talking Exploited, "SKINS PUNX AND DRUNX" anarchy. No, anarchism and anarchy are two pretty different concepts. Anarchy is chaos, disorder, and disarray. Anarchism (as found on dictionary.com, the only reason I'm doing well in university) is defined as:

an⋅ar⋅chism
/ˈænərˌkɪzəm/ [an-er-kiz-uhm]
–noun
1. a doctrine urging the abolition of government or governmental restraint as the indispensable condition for full social and political liberty.
2. the methods or practices of anarchists, as the use of violence to undermine government.

I suppose I'm pointing mainly at number one in this definition, as that's what most anarchists agree on. To be fair, anarchists can't generally agree on what anarchism is, or how it's to come about, but the idea's there. Anyways, back to the story, we were driving around, and Mariful was explaining how his form of anarchism is more of an ideology then an activist approach, in that he doesn't attempt to bomb buildings, still purchases most items, works for a corporation, etc. He is a really intelligent guy, and I guarentee he has helped other people to at least question the foundations on which this society is built, foundations that aren't as grand as McDonalds would have you think.
Apparently, activist anarchists are very much anti-passive anarchism, i.e. believe that they do nothing to further the movement. Is this true? Personally I disagree, but the same concept can be applied to people that are vegetarian but do nothing other then refuse to eat certain foods. To quote my favourite band of all time, "You say I make no difference, but at least I'm fucking trying". If someone makes no difference in the world, but still believes (without the "god" part of it), does it matter?
In my opinion, it does matter. The ideology is always a start, and other people take it further. But I'm not very educated, and my thoughts that education is the first and foremost part of any revolution (check out the Hungarian Revolution post-WWII) aren't new by any standards. If anyone has any thoughts on this one, I'd love to hear them, either via email, or just on this. If someone believes in a deity but doesn't do anything about it, do they still get into their paradise? If someone abhores meat, but doesn't stop others from eating it, do they actually stop any killing at all?
If someone believes in no government and self-sufficiency, but continues to live and work like someone who doesn't care, will there ever be no government?

"If he's here, who's runnin' hell?"

2009-03-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the studio. The band I'm currently playing has been working on a new release for the last four weeks or so, and we literally just finished. With immense relief I exited the studio, and found myself in my shower, roughly twenty minutes later. While I was wasting water that could've been used to help people in third-world countries, I came to the realization that I am excited that I won't be in the studio again for awhile, and that I was actually sick of hearing the songs. If our producer called me tonight and told me that everything was mixed and ready to go, I would tell him to give me a while. It's frightening really, that something that means so much to me is actually causing an annoyance in my life.
Before people claim that I'm a little bitch about this, I want to make it clear that I am proud of what we've accomplished, and that in time I'd be more then willing to listen to the album again. What I'm actually driving at is a theory. Something that requires all your time is going to be a drag. More then that though, a lot of people aren't able to handle it. For example, let's take my recording story and apply it to a fictional marriage. Keep in mind that this fictional marriage is now statistically the norm in Western Society.
People get married really young, usually under the assumption that they will meet the only person they want to spend the rest of their time with. Maybe some people get lucky and actually do meet that person, but usually not. Even if they do meet that person, marriage always takes a lot of work. So much work that the idea of divorce has become normal. People in the religious community claim that divorce is a source of sin and evil. How come marriage, a practice designed to force women into a form of servitude (look it up before you rip me a new asshole, it's historically accurate) hasn't been outlawed? Why is the idea of devoting yourself to one thing in every possible way so universally excepted?
I'm not saying that everyone should sleep with as many people as possible, nor am I claiming that loving and supporting someone (as well as feeling that same love you're giving) is in any way stupid or pointless. I'm just saying that maybe we should assume we're going to meet people after the age of twenty, and that before that age we've barely learned shit about life. Maybe we should assume that an institution thousands of years old is not a good thing just because it still exists, and that the same devotion that marriage claims to protect can be found outside of a deity-supported union. Maybe we should assume that the amount of work a marriage takes is too much for most people to handle, and that it will end up making a beautiful thing something that you don't want to hear, if at least for a time.
On a side note, someone sent me a message the other day, one of a few. Basically this person (whoever it may be, it's frustrating when I don't know who gives me kind words) shared a few kind words and made my day. Thanks to anyone who has at any point done that for someone, it really makes it easier to get my ass out of bed and face a day filled with bad haircuts, worst weight gain, and brain rot.

Ovid

2009-03-08T23:32:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, it's ended for me. I don't mean it's ended in a Joy Division, "My outfit and personality is way out of league with current fashions and trends, and I would be way more appropriate in gothic times, especially since I am so unoriginal I can't help but steal jokes from Demetri Martin" kind of way... I am actually referring to my small case of writer's block. It wasn't that I had nothing to write about. Far from it! In actual fact, I had just become what most people would consider a dredge on society. The kind of person that gets excited at the actions of his or her favourite character in The Hills, or Supernatural. The very same person who complains about the government but continues (further stealing from an inspiration) to bite the hand that feeds. Anyways, I've decided to continue my personal journey into the depths of a person who is entirely unexceptional, unattractive, unabombing, and ill-equipped to handle the stresses of todays youth.
In typical fashion, I have a bummer to semi-discuss. I was turned down by someone who I found to be special to me. Not really a big deal, it's happened before. But this time, I've found a better response to the dilema. Previously I would find as many sexual candidates as possible, and take my vengence on the lost love from people that had nothing to do with it. This makes sense right? Not this time. Chapter thirteen of this story finds our hero shaving. That's right, with a razor and everything. Did I pursue it in the lonliest way possible? I didn't shave any wrists or anything melodramatic like that. Nope, I felt the best way to handle my sorrow was to shave my recently appreciated mustache.
A brief history of my facial hair:

1998- Nothing yet.
2001- I have four hairs which I can strategically weave into a mustache.
2003- The same four hairs have mated and eight hairs now converge into what would come to be called, "a piece of shit over my lip".
2005- Huge progression! A beard is now approaching faster then teenage anarchism. It will last about as long as that phase.
2007- Full beard is now a natural occurence in my life. Girls wonder how I can deal with shaving it, yet they have to shave a much larger area many more times then I. Theory that "men are from Mars, women are also from Mars but are hard to understand" develops.
2009- I've become bored with a beard and now experiment with a mustache, and actually feel self-confident.

As you can see, it's been a long time. But the facts, as such, are this. I have been able to grow hairs on my face for roughly five years, but have been molding my life into love songs for seven. Therefore, it's only logical that the beard needs to go before the problems. Maybe that's what all the dudes, brahs, and mans in the world have over me. Big muscles, and no facial hair is key. Sure, you have the class clown that wants to sport a needle-thin strap, but that's just a phenomenon that only occures when they need a nut or a friend.
My roommate is moaning and laughing in his sleep. I don't assume on what he's dreaming, because it's more likely then not that it's nothing. He has quit smoking weed four times in the last two months. I think it's safe to say that the only thing more stupid then the war on drugs is drug culture. Sorry, but it's the truth. Can't people do that stuff without looking like idiots? Afterall, smokers look more cool then anyone I know, and it's worse then most things you can huff out of a bag.

1:15:6

2009-01-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

So my friend Eddie and I just had a skating competition in our school tunnels. Who can get to and from certain areas the fastest. It was pretty unreal, but it kind of put it in perspective how out of shape I really am. A guy tried to trip me as I was really kicking, and that sucked because he was a brah. I got butterflies when I saw this girl that I had a crush on as I was skating, and that made me lose. Tough nuggets.
When I was in grade 8, I really loved a band called NOFX. They did a cover of a song called "straight edge" by a band named Minor Threat. From then on, they were my favorite band. They still are my favorite band. Maybe I'm a poser, but they inspire in me nostalgia, pride, and energy. I don't know, say what you will. I don't have any cool stories why I like them, I heard them because of another punk band. I didn't grow up with it.

We're not the first,
I hope we're not the last
'Cause I know we're all heading for that adult crash
The time is so little, the time belongs to us
Why is everybody in such a fucking rush?
Make do with what you have
Take what you can get
Pay no mind to us
We're just a minor threat
Early to finish, I was late to start
I might be an adult, but I'm a minor at heart
Go to college, be a man, what's the fucking deal?
It's not how old I am, it's how old I feel
Take your time
Try not to forget
We never will
We're just a minor threat

Not even two months...

2009-01-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm not feeling as bummed out as I was yesterday. I haven't really read anything for inspiration, and I feel no desire to post any of the short stories I've written. At first I thought it'd be neat to post one of my more serious bits of writing, but then I decided that I'd rather choke on a dick. So, with my feeling semi-decent today, I figured I would do a point by point account of something we can all relate to.

1) Regular small zits- These bad boys are only a problem because they keep coming back. They don't cause much of a situation, and are only a minor nuisance. If they could be compared to anything in modern life, it'd be the Puttie Patrol, or the Foot Clan Ninjas. They get destroyed pretty quickly and easily, without actually causing any damage. But like most Southern Baptists would say about any sort of ethnicity, "You just watch. You turn your head for one second, and they'll swarm all over you like damn flies."

2) Squirts- I personally enjoy a squirt now and then. It's incredibly satisfying when you're working your ass off trying to pop this fucker, and then it explodes in a hail of glory. You know the situation. You've rubbed it down for a few hours with rubbing alcohol, you've squeezed it from a million different angles, you've attacked it with tweezers and toilet paper, and then POP! There's a little smidgeon of puss and sweat looking back at you in the mirror. This may or may not be comparable to the first time someone gives you the ol' reach-around.

3) Tattoonee- Not to be confused with Tattooine. I have a tattoo of a girls head on my shoulder, and if I ever get a pimple or something on it (usually in the winter), she looks more like a grade seven then a goddess. This could perhaps be my body responding to my crisis of faith. Maybe it realizes the fallacy in every religion, and it's showing in this tattoo that even something that's idolized can be subject to the most minor of humiliations.

4) Bacne- This is the worst of all pusscules. You fucking lay in bed for hours trying to destroy those bastards, and they don't go. They're more resistant to your hands then a mans wife of thirty years. I have found myself trying to pop these in the worst positions, basically resting all my weight on my head and heels, with the rest of my body in the air. When you're getting it on with a babe, and she puts her hand your back, she is completely unable to hide the look of disgust and disappointment that she feels. Don't think we don't notice it.

5) Cave Dwellers- These are those craters that reside inside your nostril. Most people aren't too into them, but I've found them to be relatively rare. Not only that, but they pop pretty easily and satisfactorily. It's really frustrating how they're so noticeable and one of the more repulsive of skin-squirters, I'll admit that. But if I had to make a top ten list of it, I probably wouldn't and just allow myself a long period of self-loathing for even considering writing a top anything.

6) Kneenee- This is self-explanatory. I don't think girls have ever gotten this, but I know I have. From what I understand, this type of pimple is not unlike the "never nude" condition. Rare and awesome.

7) Dickne- Obviously only relevant to guys and people in the transgender community (that one goes out to Dom and This Ship Will Burn). Dickne is a really close second to bacne, because it looks revolting and it's painful. The only reason I didn't give it the title of "Worst Form of Acne" was because it's a lot easier to get rid of, and not everyone suffers from it. Another plus about it, is that it's extremely rare (I myself have only ever suffered from a single zit at the base of my penis), and that when it happens there's never more then one.

Have a good day everyone. I hope nobody gets down because of everything that's happening in school, cities, countries, galaxies, and the universe.

Everything.

2009-01-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

The Gaza Strip got totalled, and I'm upset because the TA's at my school are probably going on strike.

I'm going to end up washing dishes for the rest of my life.

And He looked upon what He had made, and He saw that it was good...

2009-01-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

Nine years ago, a work of art was released that would change the way we as human beings would look at the world, and the future of the world. Beyond compare, this example of perfection just controlled the last hour and fifty-three minutes of my life. I oftentimes find myself getting lost in the moment. I think most people can relate to my situation. You see something that catches your eye, and time just stops. Whether it be a song, a painting, a beautiful person, a tree, a lake, falling snow, whatever. Most people have felt this in their life before, and I have just experienced it for the first time.

There's so much beauty in the world, I don't know how anyone can think a negative thought. This may sound cliche, but it really is true. I used to be a very cynical person, and I even harbored thoughts that bordered on anger. I never thought that I would be transformed by a movie of all things! They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I think it's safe to assume that a film is worth at least a screenplay. Oh, I do kill myself sometimes. But all joking aside, the way scenes and ideas should come together is a daunting task, and the creators of this cinematic genius have conquered.

I was skeptical at first about the movie, because of a few of the actors in it. I usually don't like A-list actors being in a movie, because I enjoy the independent film industry (if it can be called an industry). I especially am unsure as to A-list actors being in a movie that portrays a significant amount of religious thought, as well as a seemingly new brach of philosophy. My mind was changed when I found out how many actors and musicians have conformed to this religion. I won't state what religion it is, but take my word, that it's a beautiful religion, entirely different then anything else.

From the opening portrayal of man's dependence on stories and history, to the climbing of an unknown mountan from their captors (obviously a visual representation of the hardhips we as people must face in our everyday life), the similarities to my life were beyond numerous. I found myself getting lost in my own imagination. I was continuously reminded of a thoughtful and beautiful statement that I feel most people can learn from:

_____________________________________________________

A psychiatrist today has the power to (1) take a fancy to a woman (2) lead her to take wild treatment as a joke (3) drug and shock her to temporary insanity (4) incarnate her (5) use her sexually (6) sterilise her to prevent conception (7) kill her by a brain operation to prevent disclosure. And all with no fear of reprisal. Yet it is rape and murder… We want at least one bad mark on every psychiatrist in England, a murder, an assault, or a rape or more than one… This is Project Psychiatry. We will remove them.

_____________________________________________________

This thought went through my mind, and I feel better because of it. I know I will go to sleep tonight upon my uncomfortable bed, but I won't think about the lack of comfort. I will be thinking of ways that I can communicate my new found beliefs and ideas to all of the people of this earth. I only hope that this, my most important piece of work helps translate this from my mind to yours. I encourage everyone to watch this, the Holy Bible of cinematography. I encourage everyone to watch Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000.

Geordon's Guide to Personal Finance

2009-01-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. I'm here to tell you how to spend your money, where to spend, and why you want to spend it. Remember, your money isn't working for you. YOU are working for your money! That's right folks, although it's a hard concept to grasp, it's true that you are in no way controlling your money. This doesn't have to be a bad thing! If you understand and accept the fact that you don't have any power over the money you work for, then you don't ever have to worry about where it comes from. Ask Confucius, I'm sure he says the same thing. This leads us to part 2.
Confucius once said, "Learning is like a sea without shore. " Combine that with Henry Cabot Lodge Sr.'s immortal, "The Federal Reserve Act as it stands seems to me to open the way to a vast inflation of the currency... I do not like to think that any law can be passed that will make it possible to submerge the gold standard in a flood of irredeemable paper currency.", and you get a little story behind the word currency. Remember, without the sea, you can never get a current! I don't like to purchase anything with asking myself, "Will this flow out to the sea? If I throw this product out later on in life, will it be a cause of fatalities amongst sea life?" I make sure that this is always considered before money is spent.
Cell phones are like apples. Throw them away before they start getting all dinged up. When it comes to a cellular telephone, just use it's body condition as a sign that a new one is needed. All phone comanies understand, and it's a little known fact that you don't actually have to pay your bill if your phone doesn't look good. In actual fact, it's a running joke amongst CEO's of large corporations. So look at it like this: You're not paying for the telephone service, you're actually giving them what you feel comfortable with! Think of it as a charity that doesn't help anyone live a better lifestyle.
Graphic novels are a GREAT investment. If you take a look at the increase in prices, you'll notice that anything Alan Moore related is bound to be in the millions one day. An important thing to remember is this: Vinyl is often worth a lot, and it only has a few pages. Graphic novels have a lot more pages, and they are a lot more colourful. Remember this.

Thanks a lot for taking the time. I hope you hated reading this as much as I hated writing it.

Eh Plus?!

2009-01-04T01:06:00.000-08:00

I was sitting tonight and discussing funny personal stories involving taxi drivers. I'll share one of them. I had to stay and work at the Georgetown Indoor Pool one night, and I wasn't able to leave until late. As a result, my Mom was unable to pick me up from work (I was fourteen and couldn't drive). It being winter, and my cd player being broken, I decided to call for a cab. So the driver gets there roughly an hour after I call, and I get in.
First thing I notice is that the vehicle is very clean. There wasn't even dust. Second thing I notice is the unreal appearance of the driver. He's got the thinnest, most cleanly cropped mustache and goatee, and his ponytale disappeared behind his back and possibly under his ass. It was probably the longest hair I've seen on a guy that wasn't dreadlocked. He asks me where I'm going, and I give him my address, as is usual in these transactions. We get about half way home, and he asks me what I believe in. I replied that I didn't really believe in anything, but that I find religion really interesting, and that I have yet to confine myself to a faith (I didn't use those words, but that's it summed up). He proceeded to explain to me that all the religions I was talking about were part of something called the Silver Age, and that he belonged to an organization that was the beginning of the Golden Age. We were still ten minutes from home.
The driver explained to me that his religion was called Raja Yoga, and that it was the only true path to enlightenment. This religion teaches that the world was divided into ages (not unlike Hesiod), and that we were approaching the greatest and last of the ages. First sign of a cult. Second, he told me that his "Great Teacher" or I suppose his Yogi required sacrifice from all his followers. He told me how he had sold his house in order to give enough, and that fellow members had given life's savings, large portions of weekly pay, the works. Sign of a cult number two. We got to my home, and he told me that they were always looking for new brothers and sisters, and that I should look it up and come out to meetings. I was fourteen years old. I paid him his money, with a small tip, and went into my parents house, and did whatever completed my night.
For ancient civilizations, it was extremely hard to come up with logical conclusions for the way peoples lives played out. The idea that divine presence was a part of daily life also gave justification for the system of hierarchies that had been present in most cultures. Having a belief structure helped explain to people why they were born in a lower class or caste then someone else, as well as provided them a reason for the misfortunate in their lives. This faith was not only a negative thing. Belief in myths, gods, and legends also provided these people with a reason behind a good harvest, or a decisive victory in battle. While it was the religious structure that allowed people to continue on in a certain pattern, it was ancient stories and myths that explained how their lives came to be the way the way they were. It also presented an image of the peoples that were considered heroes, and dictated how their lives were to be lived, by these mythological representations of “good” society.
Societies have warred and fought with each other for as long as they have existed. There are even examples of Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal warring. Through these wars, there has always emerged a victor, in one form or another, and thus has emerged a system of hierarchy. The strong rules over the weak. The strongest people would claim that their power and fortitude is granted them by their powerful gods. As these societies would age and move through the generations, ancient stories would become legend and then myth, and much historical truth would be lost. Archaeologists have found remains of ancient societies and sites where wars have taken place.
There is evidence that myths and beliefs have not always worked out for the peoples of the past. It is many historians opinion that the ancient ritual of human sacrifice has never had any benefit to society. Many societies would base an entire seasons harvest on the sacrifice required by their gods. While the sacrifice was used to assure the masters (as well as commoners) that the season would be successful, it is obvious that the sacrifice itself has no affect on the actual harvest. As well, if the event that was dependant on the sacrifice was unsuccessful, people would have had doubt in themselves, their gods, and would look for more desperate acts to correct how they have failed.
Is this how all cults are? Is this the kind of adverstising that David Koresh, or L. Ron Hubbard used? Another thought that comes into my mind, is that a lot of this stuff is no more ridiculous then modern Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Scientology, or anything else we can come up with. I can laugh and make jokes about people that read the Watchtower, and I can scoff at the notion that evolution didn't take place. But there are people in the world that choose to give themselves to the unknown (and pretty ubsurd), and maybe ignorance is bliss. After all, human beings have been doing it since we climbed out of trees. What is the difference between God and Zeus? What is the major religious difference between Buddha and the Holy Spirit? How about Anubis versus The Morning Star? Maybe in a thousand years people will talk about Yahweh the way we discuss the Epic of Gilgamesh or the Iliad.
It goes without saying that ancient and modern religions are a major cause of diversity between nations. But looking a bit deeper into the mythology behind all of it, there are a lot of similarities between the stories. Human beings are always looking for a way to redemption, a way to achieve what we had and then lost. This sounds like the modern, seventeen year old, high school break up.

Medal of Honor

2009-01-01T22:45:00.000-08:00

Girls deserve a medal for their lives. I have a few reasons for my thought.

1) At the age of thirteen they have to deal with some pretty rough life changes. Girls are expected by shitty guys like you and me, to become experts in the use of make-up. They use make-up to look like the girls we see on television, but also to cover up the mad acne they have to deal with. Acne is not worse then racial prejudice, but it's pretty rough. Girls get ripped on because they have acne, because OF COURSE guys never have to deal with it.

2) Periods, period. That time of the month should never be made fun of. "She must just be on her rag" is a horrible thing to say. How the fuck is a week of cramps, lack of sleep, fetus positions, bloated skin, blood, pain, all that jazz, even remotely funny? Honestly, the proof I have that the three gods of Christian faith are vengeful is in the female period. Why do they have to go through this? New Chinese torture: Give someone a period for a bit, and force them to pretend to be sexy for a chin-strapped bro.

3) Birth. Why couldn't kids just come out of the thigh, like in Greek mythology? No, women have to deal with 9 months of joy. I've also read recently that aside from the C-section and natural ripping, there is another medieval method. Cutting from the asshole up through the vagina. Imagine that, and look it up afterwards. This fact is worst then fiction. William Wallace didn't have to go through that kind of guff.

4) Boyfriends. I have talked to a lot of girls that have had to deal with abusive guys. It's horrible that guys were born with the power to dominate women. It's not sexist, it's true. Guys are usually bigger, and most times more controlling and aggresive. Sorry if that offends any women out there. I'm sure all the abused wives will hate me for saying it. Guys, you bummed that your girlfriend wants you to cuddle? Try being hit when you say or do something wrong. This is a common facet of modern life.

Guys, just respect that girl that chooses to put up with your farts, love handles, macho attitude, shitty shirts, worst songs, bad attitudes, tiny dick, useless fingers. Girls have to deal with a lot, and guys should just give them a hand, as opposed to being another bunch of problems. If you're going to fuck another girl, break up with your girlfriend first. Instead of hitting your girl, jerk off then smack your head against a wall.

So wasted brah.

2009-01-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

Fuck OC Transit.

I understand that unions are the reason that we have what we have in the working world, and that they protect the rights of millions. My Mom works in a union office, and everything that I've heard about her job has been gold. She gets treated with pure respect, gets along with all her coworkers, gets time off, all that stuff. I've been part of a union, and I was very protected. I did what most people do though, in that I became so lethargic about my job that I began to resent it, even though the job itself was basically a joke.
OC Transit has been on strike now for awhile. Since the last week in November, workers, students, seniors, and kids have all been unable to get anywhere without getting a ride or taking a taxi. It's not enough to say they can just walk, because a five minute ride becomes an hour. Biking isn't really an option either. The strike itself has been upsetting the lives of Ottawa citizens throughout the city. I probably sounds like a huge baby, but I'm writing about this because it's relevent to my life right now.
Since the strike started, there has been more accidents, pollution has gone up, and people are being held up everywhere. I guess from a strategic standpoint, it's making everyone realize how vital public transit is. But it's a sad strategy that relies on the misery of other people. Before everyone shits all over me, it is misery. Not the kind of misery you read about in Ham on Rye, or in Oliver Twist, but misery to people who have achieved some sort of happiness in a repetitive lifestyle.
All I'm saying in very bad words, is that it'd be a really awesome idea if we could resolve problems without creating more. I don't know, maybe Animal Liberation Front and Amnesty Now has better ideas then I do, but it seems that the only thing we can do to make a difference is fuck other people up, whether it be big or small. Happy New Year!

2008-12-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

"Thermo-Dynamic Miracles... Events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing. And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... That is the crowning unlikelihood. The Thermo-Dynamic Miracle."

"But... If me, my birth, if that's a Thermo-Dynamic Miracle... I mean, you could say that about anybody in the world!"

"Yes. Anybody in the world. But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull from our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take the breath away. Come... Dry your eyes, for you are rare, rarer then a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints more clearly."
______________________________________________________

"Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night. Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning it's illusions to ice, shattering them."

Someone date me!

2008-12-29T20:47:00.000-08:00

______________________________________________________

- Bald
- Fiftyish
- Twice divorced
- Withholding child support
- Survived a vasectomy
- Burgeoning alcoholism
- Being sued for sexual harrassment

Not looking for anything serious, just looking for a fun time with a short woman with the face of Lurch.

_______________________________________________________

This may or may not be someone I'm closely related to. The future looks great!

Rabbit

2008-12-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

I've been spending a lot of time at http://www.ted.com/. It's a really incredible site, I find myself losing hours just watching and reading. For simple people like myself, the website is a collection of speeches and lectures that geniuses and novelists in certain fields have given. These are all people that have been recognized for their contributions to their specific areas of expertise. I encourage everyone to check it out, it's the best thing to happen to the internet. Well, to me it's the best thing.
I was watching one lecture in particular. It featured a man named Jared Diamond, the authour of Guns, Germs, and Steel, and Collapse. During the lecture, he discussed the rise and eventual collapse of societies, using Greenland, Easter Island, and modern Montana as his examples. He wrote in his book, and also mentioned in the lecture the thought, "What were the peoples of Easter Island thinking when they were cutting down the last tree on the island?". To me, this is a really interesting question, because I like most people am fascinated with the way societies work.
I don't want to go into great detail on this, because I feel like Jared Diamond can say it one hundred times better then I could. Just got to the website, and search for his name. It's really fascinating, and his unusual way of speaking aside, very easy to understand and learn from.

GT

2008-12-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

Vegeta would've been an extremely abusive father. Every time there is a conversation between Vegeta and Trunks, Trunks ends up being called weak and eventually punched or smacked out of the way, as Vegeta goes to get into a fight to prove how tough he is. Even in a time of peace, Vegeta forces Trunks away from his job to continue training. It's important to note that Trunks' position is as CEO of Capsule Corporation, and that it's doing better then ever. Why can't Vegeta see how much strength and resolve it needs to be the leader of a multi-trillion zeni business? To a Saiyan, strength is really only bicep deep.
Goku is a horrible husband and father. Yeah, he always comes across as a loving, naive goof, but there are things that aren't shown on screen. He obviously pays no attention to Chi Chi's emotional side. It's a wonder Chi Chi hasn't become a suicidal alcoholic yet. Unfortunately for Chi Chi, she's definately not up to par in the bedroom anymore either. Saiyans retain their youth, and only got stronger and more vital with age. Chi Chi has been living in a cottage in the mountains for years, while Goku goes off for months at a time training. In order to keep a relaitonship alive, you have to be willing to try new sexual things, and from what is shown, Chi Chi is not the sexual liberal. So Goku gets more and more powerful, while Chi Chi's gets old and grey, and less perky then before. Many a marriage has this dilema ended.
Goku has been busting out kids for awhile, and he seems to neglect them the younger the are. Goten didn't even have a father for a lot of his childhood. Goku blatantly gave up and threw Gohan into the ring with Cell. Everyone's father goes a bit overboard sometimes, but that's pure negligence.
What is Gohan going to do when his kids are all out of the house? Gohan is an intelligent youth for sure, no one will deny that. With all the stress he's had at such an early age, it's a wonder he didn't need counseling or anything. More then likely he'll be that old fart sitting in his dark corner at Tim's Tipsy Tavern, spending his old age pension on sake. The only thing he'll have left to say is, "Y'know, I beat Cell. That's right! N'even know! I was younger then you, and I didn't have no one holding my dick, I did it... with only one arm!"
It goes without saying that Master Roshi is a pervert. That's clearly shown. What isn't explained however, is that he is one of the most powerful men on earth... and he rarely uses that power outside of getting girls. Yeah, he's never kamehameha'd someone, but who's to say he hasn't turtled schooled some babe? That whole time that he was training Goku and Krillin, where did they get the funds to pay him? How did he even pay for his house? Obviously Roshi is involved in some sort of pornographic, hentai, tentacle-dick ring.

You have to read between the lines. Never accept what someone tells you on television. The truth is out there, and you only have to watch thirty hours of powering up and different levels of Super Saiyan to understand that.

Urg!

2008-12-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

Hey, I'm drunk. I hope everyone except for the brah's in the world have a fun Christmas (remember that it was Christian before it was the holidays shit, so for all you politically correct people out there, eat my nut), and I'm going to drink more. I got knocked to the ground by a shopper today, in the electronic section in Wal-Mart. True story.
I'm drunk. I probably won't write again for a few days. I'm in a good mood and my face is really flushed.

Thanks to everyone that has said they enjoy reading this, or anyone who I have hung out with over my time in Southern Ontario.

The Siren Bong of the Counter-Culture.

2008-12-22T13:22:00.000-08:00

So, people get tattoos these days. That's totally cool! Obviously it's not a big thing, and it's become a very accepted hobby. That's great, because there were days when people would be blacklisted for sporting tattoos. My great-grandfather was a sailor, I believe during the twenties to the fourties. He had women, accordians, the Union Jack, his mother's name, and various other images covering his body. It's actually really cool to see, because it's something that is not common, at least for that time period. It's kind of interesting to note, that tattoos for the most part, are considered part of todays liberal counter-culture, and my great-grandfather was an extremly strict conservative.
Tattoos have existed for a long time. Tribal cultures all around the world have been tattooing for ages. This is something that most people know, I'm not really saying anything that's overly revolutionary or insightful. It's definately an interesting way to express an idea, and if you have a tattoo, there's no real reason to regret it. Yeah sure, it may look bad, but at least it's nostalgic. We prefer to wear clothes anyways, so as long as it's on a spot that you can hide with normal clothing, who cares? I have dumb tattoos, and even though I kind of roll my eyes at them, I don't sit and weep about how different my life would've been had I spent that $200 on weed.
This kid (who shall remain nameless, lest he bitch a little bit more about something completely fucking moronic) recently posted a blog. In this particulour blog, he describes in detail his excitement at getting his first tattoo, his fear of it being visible, his love of it, and his buying of v-neck shirts in order to show it off. Like the old tattooed veteran that he is, he writes at length about how all these friends of his rip on him for wearing v-necks, and about how the same kids who are making the jokes proceed to wear the same shirt showing off their tattoos.
Big surprise coming your way pal, lots of people have tattoos. Here's another big surprise, people are going to ask you about your tattoos. If you claim that you're terrified of having a visible tattoo, but then proceed to show it off, why the fuck would you rip on a kid for doing the exact same thing? If you have a tattoo, it's going to be shown off in some way or another. Having an image cut into your skin is simply a new piece of identification. If you're tough enough to get some ink, then you should be able to tell your "asshole friends" to fuck off and not make fun of you for wearing a lame shirt. Then you should drink a few brewskees and do a motorcycle flip over a few tits.
I have said it before, that I regret my tattoos. I never really mean this, it's just part of the things that make up my negative side. If someone says, "Seeing all the other people who have tattoos makes me regret my tattoos", they are trying to give themselves some sort of credibility. The young people that have had their tattoos for a month are saying this because they want their tattoo to seem more legit then the next tattoo. Don't get me wrong, I definately believe there are people who really regret their tattoos, and I am in no way saying that this credibilty issue applies to everyone. I'm just saying it applies to the majority of kids that I've seen.
I keep using the word "kid". What I mean by kid, is someone a lot younger then 25. Now, I am 20 years old, and I have a few tattoos myself. I don't regret them, I try to talk about them as little as possible, and I'm starting to understand that I have a lot of time to get more. But the kids with tattoos that constantly complain about their tattoos, and about other people getting tattoos, that's just ridiculous. If some king in a foreign tribe saw you nowadays, he'd say in his native tongue, "That kid's a fucking faggot. What a little bitch".

XMAS

2008-12-21T13:05:00.001-08:00

I went to a show the other night. I only went to see a band that seems to be getting bigger, and is comprised of members from various other bands I enjoyed at one point in my life. They played a great set, and with the exception of their second song I think all their songs were very well-written and powerful. The show struck me as interesting not because it was anything out of the ordinary, or that I was seeing anything I thought really worth mentioning besides the one band, but because I watched them play an awesome set, and I didn't feel any jealousy.

I, like most people, get a small pang of regret when I see someone doing something better then I ever could, at least the first few times I witness it. But this time around I felt nothing except for excitement for the five guys playing. Is this growing up or giving up? Only time will tell.

At least I didn't end the night with the sentence "You should've seen Bob Loblaw get so good last night. FUCK."

It's Always Sunny in Ontario

2008-12-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

I just picked up my little brother Rory from London. At first I was anticipating an awkward drive, maybe one filled with arguments. This would be my fault, because I'm not the easiest person to get along with. But in reality, it was one of the best 2 hour car drives I've ever had. We talked the whole way, and it was about things relevent to both our lives. It was a conversation that really had my brain working, and really got me thinking on things. I didn't come to any conclusions on life that I haven't already made, but it did force me to remember ones that Imaye have held at one point.
Before I left Ottawa for the holidays, I sat down with my recently re-established friend Breanna. We talked for two hours about everything. This is a girl who I was sort of friends with way back in the day, and who didn't really miss me too much when she moved. Not a big deal, no one misses me! But we sat down after a few years, and we were able to have an amazing chat that made me determined to make this girl one of my best friends.
Conversations are the best thing in the world. Recently I sat down with a couple of friends by the names of Ryan, Josh, Derrick, and a cool cat named Chris. We talked about lots of things, and it was another conversation that got me thinking on nostalgia. I mentioned how I had been forgotten by most people from the areas I used to frequent, and that it didn't bother me. I was informed that my name had been dropped on a message board, and it made me laugh. If the internet could talk, no one would leave their house for fear of embarrasment! The only thing I miss from old places are old friends.
On nostalgia, I miss a guy named Peter a lot. He was my best friend for about a year and a half, and we used to rap to each other on our early morning drives to music shops. Another form of conversation, without real words. I'll never think of Pete as anything other then my best friend at a major point in my life. I'm sure anyone who's reading this knows what I mean. I miss Pete cause he was someone I could talk to without saying anything. Even though I have done things to make it seem like that friendship meant nothing to me, I won't be able to forget those talks and times, at least without the help of Alzheimers.
I know this sounds like a big personal rant and story of regret, but there is method to this semi-madness (if madness is bad writing and even worse jokes). These conversations reflect how we're feeling, they reflect our changing moods over a very short period of time, and they reflect our ability to communicate our ideas. It usually can show us if someone is a possible mate, an idiot, an asshole, or a new JC. This is nothing new, everyone knows this. But the next time you have a good conversation, just think what it may mean to you some day. It sounds stupid and obvious, but a conversation could change how you act for the rest of your life. We always seem to forget this.

Post Script- My brother and I just watched a show called TMZ. I have never heard of it before, but I have to say, I'm pretty disgusted with it. I'm vegetarian, and I was vegan for a time. As of today I don't want to hurt anything, but I want to remain somewhat healthy which I can't seem to do on a vegan diet. Anyways, this show was making fun of a shark that jumped into a chlorinated pool and died within minutes. Apparently this was really funny. Can someone enlighten me as to where this becomes funny? There was nothing interesting about the jokes (the jokes that were made were basically about the stock market). This is a disgrace to pools, sharks, comedy, and the stock market.

E.G.I.S.A.S.I.J

2008-12-17T18:58:00.000-08:00

"Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. "

Apparently, this is the last thing Karl Marx said. I'm pretty sure I know how it was actually stated though. It probably sounded more like this: "Anything else to say? Nah, I'm good. I'm pretty confident that my ideas on a proletariat revolution are going to have a really positive impact on the world. There's just no way that anyone is going to miscontrue my message, much less use every single principle to their own advantage! So, last words? Nah, I'm good." This sound a bit better?
Communism works on paper I've been told. Most other people have told me that communism doesn't work to well in real life. There have been people who have tried to convince me otherwise. Let's examine the two sides.

1) Communism doesn't work- The people defending this theory to me are university professors, two men that lived in communist Poland, and people that were starting their adult lives during the cold war. Most of these people state their views on communism very matter-of-fact. What I mean by this, is that because of learning, or because of personal experience, they have come to the conclusion that the idea of every single person on earth working together towards a common goal is absolutely possible. The teachers tell me it's because of a total inability to promote a responsible government (and communist nations would have governments, don't kid yourselves). The people that have lived under the movement tell me it's because if there is no incentive for working harder, then no one will do it.

2) Communism does work- The soldiers that I have encountered in this army are usually pretty similiar. Remember, I'm speaking from 100% of my own perspective, and that the people I mention are 100% or the people that I have encountered. I'm not saying that it's everyone, but just the majority that are idiots. Anyways, the people defending this are usually high school or university students. A few of these individuals have argued with professors, so you know they're really intelligent. On occasion there is a mohawk in the mix, but usually just American Apparel, Old Navy (without the label of course), and Vans footwear. They can usually recite a few quotes from Marx's Manifesto, and on occasion Das Kapital, and are usually pretty adept at pointing out the socials ills brought upon by capitalism. They definately have a lot of time to notice these ills, as their parents are usually paying for their schooling, or letting them stay at home free of charge. This gives them all the time in the world to change things (which is OF COURSE what they're doing). These people can usually be found dining in East Side Mario's, Kelsey's, or Montana's, these areas being the center stronghold for the revolution. Capitalism is okay if it brings forth delicious food in a pleasant atmosphere.

Is it more important that something work on paper or real life? Maybe the defence of something should be based on proof, as opposed to imagination. When dealing with a movement that seeks to encompass the entire world, I think we better have a lot of proof. So, can anyone provide me with the proof that communism can be implemented in every facet of life, and will give people the utopia that it promises to be? Can communism completely defeat the greed that seems to permeate most facets of society?
The only lifestyle that seems to have remained the same and worked the best for everyone, and for the longest, is the lifestyle of the indigenous tribal peoples. But if someone can convince me otherwise, then I'll gladly put on my AA sweater, black hat, lace up my Vans and prepare to show everyone the truth, one East Side Mario's at a time.

Endless.

2008-12-17T01:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight has been filled with delays. It seems that when bad or annoying things happen, they happen all at once. That situation happened to me tonight, but I made some strange discoveries as the scenarios presented themselves.
First, driving was really bad. I chose to go and visit some friends outside of town, driving in a minor snow storm. Not a big deal, it doesn't really bother me. So even on the highway I was only going 60 to 80. As opposed to normally being frustrated, I was pretty content. I got to listen to music, relax, talk to one of my old friends. So the first delay was a major success. I think it's safe to say I preferred the slower going.
Second, the same old friend misplaced his phone after our we had decided to call it a night. This was something he couldn't leave behind, so we all looked around the area for it. It was freezing out, as well as madly snowing, so we were all pretty determined to find it quick. We searched throughout the car, and ended up looking everywhere for roughly an hour and a half until discovering it frozen in the snow. The relief I felt (and my friend must have felt) was awesome, and it seemed almost worth it to have to look and enjoy getting in a warm car.
Third. Driving on Highway 401 back to our homes, we get stopped by a major delay. Three tractor trailors have collided, and one of them is completely flipped over. There was fuel and spillage everywhere, and the entire higway was blocked. The wreck is so bad that we pass people who are driving the opposite way on the wrong side of the highway, and even pass one driver that was backing up on the highway. We're waiting, listening to the radio, and I'm slowly falling asleep. Suddenly(after an hour of being stopped on the highway), we begin to slowly creep forward. I was so elated that I threw my fist in the air, waving at people.
Lastly, my bathroom. I get home and right away go to the washroom. I sit on the toilet for what seems like forever, killing myself just to get rid of the nights disgusting meal. It was horrible. It was a feeling like I needed to shit and throw up at the same time, and I nearly did. I even started getting the really watery drool, the stuff that only comes when you're drunk or finished. I finish up, feeling absolutely amazing, and get back into the guest room in my Mom's house. It's been 40 minutes.
Delays rule. I felt so good after each one of them, that they all seemed worth it. Maybe I have too much time on my hands, and maybe delays are already adding to that, but tonight it didn't seem to matter. Being stopped from doing what you want in a certain time frame is brutal, but the relief you get from just being able to do anything, feels better then most accomplishments. I accomplished a lot.

I'm not going to proof read this for spelling mistakes, I'm really tired. I am aware that this is horrible, not funny, and not interesting, but I'm not too worried.

Spare Change

2008-12-15T18:59:00.000-08:00

I’m sitting at Pearson Airport, just watching people arrive and leave. There’s a family that sports six mullets, and the father (who just smacked one of the kids on the head) has a large, seemingly fresh slice going through his eye down into his cheek. The smokers stand outside in the rain and slush, thankful to finally light up again. There is a line of 8 people waiting to get something from Tim Hortons. I passed a beautiful girl on my way out of baggage claim, and I was kind of creepily wondering what lucky guy (or girl, it’s cool to be gay) was going to get off of the plane and get over to meet her. All in all, it goes without saying that if you sit at an airport, you usually get to see an assortment of different people.
I was given a pretty good seat on the plane. When I say given, I mean I managed to get a good seat because I always fly stand-by. There was a little kid right in front of me, and she couldn’t have been much older then two. She kept staring at me through the space between the seats, and I kept making stupid faces to make her smile. She was laughing and smiling the whole plane ride, and I never got tired of it. Her parents seemed really thankful, which makes sense because if you’ve ever flown with a child, it can get really rough. They really don’t like the whole feeling, it’s incredibly alien.
This kid probably had no concept of gratitude or anything, nor should she. All she knew was that something was funny for her to look at, and the plane didn’t seem so bad. The same can be said about me. I have to go to Southern Ontario, in which wait’s a host of social drama. I don’t need to be specific, this isn’t a journal and I’m not going to whine about anything. The point of this one is, I was not looking forward at all to being here. I have to leave what’s coming to be my home, and I have to leave a general feeling of acceptance. But this little girl gave me something really funny and joyful to look at, and it didn’t seem so bad when we touched down on the ground. She’s probably already forgotten me, but I’m going to think about her for a little while longer, because she made the next few weeks okay.

Documentaries

2008-12-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my friend Jac on msn, and she kept sending me links to pictures of people with various diseases. I really did not handle it well at all. Upon seeing Mermaid Girl, Tree Man, Octopus Man, and the most horrifying of all, people that suffer progeria, I ended up pretty jumpy. To me at least, these people looked like the main characters of horror movies, and after reading their life's stories it seemed that they very well could be living horror storyesque lifestyles. Or at least inspire them.
Is it politically incorrect to say something along the lines of, "those people freak me out"? It's completely true in my case at least. I understand that as a nation, Canada is supposed to be accepting of everyone, but I am failing with this section of people. I'm not one for political correctness really, I find it ridiculous. It's definately the antithesis of free speech. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand that it protects peoples self-worth. I'm not using it as a defence for racism. I think white supremacists are among the most unintelligent people on earth. Definately not worth associating with, simply because they're too moronic to talk to. Octopus Man just freaks me out. Call me shallow.
Discovering a new kind of person, whether it be man meeting woman, Columbus meeting natives, Alexander meeting everything outside of Greece, whatever the situation may be, is a pretty strange experience. Obviously there is going to be plenty of hostilities and wonder, and it will probably end up with one of the people claiming that their way is better. All this leads to racism, or genocide, or whatever. Is my being afraid of these diseased people a starting point for more discrimination? Should I force myself to remain unmoved when staring at the face of a kid who's brother is attached to his head?
My gym teacher once told my class some interesting thoughts. It was very Darwinian, and probably wouldn't have been approved by the school board, especially in a Catholic school. He told us that a person who suffers from some physical or mental abnormality was naturally supposed to remain alone. He stated that we are afraid and repulsed by these diseases because in a state of nature, human beings look for the best mate. According to this teacher, it has nothing to do with being discriminatory. He used the same argument for why the majority of people are attracted to those that are physically fit, good looking and whatnot. This teacher was a very handsome gent, not to mention intelligent, so I suppose he fell into his own category of "good mates".
Does my natural fear towards Mermaid Girl make me politically incorrect, a natural student of Darwin, a jerk, or all of the above? Why doesn't anyone ever explain to students why we're such bitches when it comes to things that are really different then us? I mean real explanations, not something that falls into the parent-approved teaching guidelines. I'm sure I could get some pretty stupid responses to this, probably from people that read "God is Not Great" and think that they are now true soldiers in the atheist army. God isn't great, but neither is the study of eugenics. If anyone actually has any intelligent insights, I would love to hear/read them.

Top Five Reasons to Hate Everyone

2008-12-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

So I read about 15 peoples blogs today. Isn't anyone else sick of single paragraph public journals about how to "get good", but ways that only apply to people in a certain social circle? Is anyone else sick of Top Five albums this month?

What about what you ate last night? Anyone sick of that?

How about what made your day so great? I bet it's because you hung out with someone... right?

I suppose I'm guilty of this too... but life moves on. I hope all these people who have awesome "Top Five/Brodown/Gettin' Good" blogs get published. They deserve it.

Top Five World Dictators:

1- Adolf Hitler
2- Pol Pot
3- Mao Zedong
4- Joseph Stalin
5- Bob Marley

Top Five "Not to Live Without" Items

1- Cell Phone
2- Birth Control
3- 1575 GB Ipod
4- Black Hat
5- Obama

Top Five Kinds of People that Would Read This and Hate Me:

1- Anyone that listens to Hot Water Music (which is such a shame, because I enjoy that band)
2- Vegans
3- Anyone that actively participates in a Zine
4- The Mom's of anyone that listens to HWM
5- Anyone that bought the demo cd of the band that the person who listens to HWM is in (aptly named after a Chuck Bukowski Poem and/or book)

The Great Grey Beast Known as December

2008-12-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

Leo Tolstoy, Mikhail Bulgakov, Chuck Bukowski, Charles Dickens, George Orwell, Marie-Francois Voltaire. All these people had something to say, and something to do. It seems that today, no one finds anything inspired to say anymore. Yeah, sure, all you crust punxs who have "been listening to Propagandhi forever, always been vegan, and understand everything Noam Chomsky has to say" will claim that every member of every band has something to shout, but I'm not convinced. Is Obama our next icon?
It's awesome, there's a black president. We have definately witnessed history. It's crazy to think that anyone born after that day will never be able to claim that they lived in a time when the most powerful nation in the world was dominated by old white men. It's really something that the leftist Americans should be proud of (not us Canadians. Let's be honest, we really did nothing to get him in office other then say, 'I want Obama in. He's so... right!'). I don't think it really matters if I'm pro- or anti- Obama. What I do think, is that we have created someone in our heads that has to live up to MLK, Kennedy, and for those of us in Canada, Trudeau or MacDonald.
Wouldn't it be incredible if this was the time that America rose up and achieved what every 17 year old university student thinks that it should've achieved? I have noticed that there are a lot of kids that really payed a lot of attention to the US presidential election... but didn't know what was going in Canada. This is not a joke at all. People still don't know what's going on in Canada. It's not like anything absolutely pivotal is going on (but maybe it is pivotal!), but still, some of these people know absolutely nothing about what is happening in Canada these days. I think this is bringing me to my point.
Politics are fashionable. Let me rephrase that. American politics are fashionable these days. Yeah, it's awesome when young people go out there and make a difference. But only when they make a real difference. Get involved, get active, if you want to change the hearts of even a few. Don't tell me on the internet what needs to be done. Don't post about world hunger on page 6 of your zine. I'm not saying this because I am out there changing the world. The fact is, I'm still working on changing myself! No, my point is, don't tell me what needs to be done, and expect people to listen if you can't do it yourself. This goes beyond girlfriends, boyfriends, aquintances, enemies, bands, pets, diets, or Lush. Just look at the world, and see it for yourself! Don't see what Howard Zinn, or Chuck Ragan, or Malcom X, or Edward Norton would have you see. Take those words that your icons have spoken, and make your own thing out of the ideas that are true to you. Let's not turn the power of youth into American Apparel or Myspace.

Kramerama

2008-12-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

So the holidays are coming up, and with it, questions. Any person under the age of 25 knows the exact questions that are coming, if they know anything about themself. I really enjoy Christmas, and the eggnog, and the family, and all that stuff, but I know how most conversations are going to go, and in what order. I've been preparing myself for them for the last few days or so.

"So, how's school going?"

Of course it's going well. It's a lot of work, but I am enjoying it. I think I am doing well, but I could always be doing better.

"Still playing music?"

Not so much as when I wasn't in school, but I am jamming with a few guys. No, our cds aren't available in stores. No, I don't know if it's you're kind of thing, or if you want to "give it a listen".

"Oh Geordon... what have you done to your arms?"

Yeah, I started getting tattoos a little while ago. I just wear sweaters and long sleeves a lot, so you wouldn't have seen them yet (at this point I have talked to whatever relative this happens to be about my arms at least 5 times). Yes, I'm aware of the pain I've done to my family.

I like meeting up with people I used to be really close with as well. I genuinely enjoy talking to old friends, and just seeing how life is. But there are people who have been a lot less then friends, who always say, "yeah let me know when you're back, we'll definately get together". The kind of people that respond to you once over 5 months and then claim that you're really good friends. I'll just come out and say, that I only want to see a small few people who are good people. I think it's the wrong attitude to be in, but holidays and good times shouldn't be wasted on someone who wouldn't waste it on you. Also, the ultimate Christmas movie is going to be watched over and over in my Mom's house. That of course is Die Hard 1, followed by Predator 1. Staples.

Chill out brah.

2008-12-10T15:08:00.000-08:00

I've been writing my exams for two days now, and the experience has been slightly surreal. It's not the studying or the "stress" that's getting to me. It's definately not fucking facebook (check yesterday's post out). It's actually the feeling of going into a room with nearly a thousand other people and sitting down in perfectly lined up and divided rows and columns. It just seemed very much like 1984, or some sort of dystopian, post-WW III type scene. You know the one I'm talking about. The scene where 1000 of the federations most committed and proven soldiers who are ready to purge the final society of it's weakest citizens, are all writing and answering their "How-to-kill-someone-in-the-most-effective-gnarly-way-possible" tests. I think it's safe to say that no one in that room with me was answering any such questions, but one can only hope.
I was sitting at dinner today making fun of most people and things (as people who are very boring and dry do) and a guy sitting next to me started commenting on his writing. He told me that he recently wrote about a child that grew up as a soldier, and was rescued and moved to North America. He had to be resocialized here, and is now in university. Of course the conversation turned to how "our problems seem like nothing when compared to that". It's not that that's untrue, it's just that I seem to find myself having that conversation every other day. I guess it's something us crackers realize a lot.
People always say "our problems aren't anything compared to what other people have to face", or "when I see what other people go through, it makes me not worry at all about what I consider important". The truth is though, where we get our money, whether or not our loved ones still love us, our grades, our diet, whatever, this stuff matters. It's important that we keep our heads and worry about these things. If everyone were to relax completely about studying in school, or making it to work on time, or any of the other things we attribute to being "not so important" then we probably would collapse. Not to say that we could probably calm down about other things, but we do need to remain focused, especially since we are the people to blame for North America having the kind of work ethic that it does.
In hunter/gatherer cutlures around the world, there is a lot more "free time". They hunt, trade, work, and barter when they need to. Obviously we like to be ahead of the grind and get done what we can do before it gets on top of us. It's going to take a long time before this "work society" as people call it becomes something a little bit more relaxing. To be honest I don't ever see it becoming any less then what we expect it to be, and all those bro's out there who expect it to change because they're really good at hacky sack are pretty wrong.
I think school is important, and if any of you privlidged brah's out there want to come and tell my Mom to "chill out" about her job, and that it doesn't matter, you can also help and explain to my little brothers why their Mom is so busy. The guys that I sat with at dinner tonight had a lot of really good points to make, and they were able to make them with informed opinions. But to all you other people out there? Stop cashing in on your parents income and understand that before you can make a difference in the world, and bring all those child-soldiers back to "civilized society", that you have to understand how our economy works. Chilling out probably won't help your parents pay for your education.

Putting the "crybaby little moron" back in journalism.

2008-12-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Give this one a good read and decide whether or not you want to read whatever I have to say to it.
________________________________________________________________
I've been so frustrated with politics and the news as of late that I have chosen to neglect reading newspapers for a couple of weeks. I've been busy with... stuff, and frustrated with life. I have been having this bad feeling in my gut for the last few days, its that off-putting tingle in your lower back and chest. I think it's stress, but I'm afraid that when the dust settles and school is over for the semester, it's not going to go away. Something needs to click so that I can just feel normal again, or something needs to disappear. I just need a vacation. I need to take a break.When I think of things that stress me out, I think of work, school, family, but as of two and a half minutes ago I thought of something else.Facebook. The ever so popular and growing trend of Facebook.When someone tells me they don't have Facebook I am genuinely concerned that they are going to miss out on all the fun social activities in life. Everyone uses Facebook."Just message my Facebook"Yes, this is now the most reliable form of communication, well at least for myself. A simple message that is sent to a profile, which is then relayed to my cellphone in an even more simplified text message. Technology has made something beautiful. Any one of my Facebook friends can message me, at any time, straight to my cell phone. I had over 450 friends on Facebook two months ago, but lately I have been cleaning house and I am down to just over 200.It's a little scary if you ask me. Friendships can never die on FB, they exist forever in a constantly updated environment of photos and status updates, where anyone who is "friends" can check up on ex girlfriends, family, friends of friends, and total strangers.I saw a cute girl in the hallway, why should I go up and talk to her when I could stumble upon her profile and send her a little hello message? I don't even need to speak to anyone in person! What kind of world is this!? Social interaction has gone to hell!I used to be big into MySpace, another social networking site which you may or may not have heard of. I was addicted to that, and the thought of ever deleting it blew me away. It was the key to talking to girls without actually having the confidence to do so in real life. But FB has grown so quickly that I don't even see a point in owning a MySpace, it has dwarfed MySpace in every way possible. I am a Facebook addict, right now as I write this, Facebook is my first tab in Fire Fox, alongside this blog window, and then my email.I am worried that as I write this a new notification will pop up and I will miss it.I am worried that when I go out for a swim in a half an hour that I might miss something important. Someone might tag a photo of me, or even comment on my status, or even..... write on my wall.I wish I could delete my profile, but its not even fun anymore. I need it. It has now become a way of life, and as the economy goes to hell, and if I loose my job, I am really not all that worried. I'll still have Facebook. Facebook will never leave me, and if I leave Facebook, I'm sure she'll forgive me.Tempt not a desperate man.
________________________________________________________________
So this was written by a journalism student who wants to "push the boundaries of my writing and develop a readership like no other. " I have to say, if this is what we can expect to read in the newspapers over the next while, I'm going to subscribe to Cracked magazine. What the hell is this self-deprecating, quasi-humorous garbage? I mean, I really only find it funny that people like this have no control over their "addiction" to social networking. You want to stop being addicted to facebook? Go out and hang out with someone. You want to stop recieving messages on your phone? Change your plan, or better yet, get rid of your phone. Remember when we were kids and the only thing we had to worry about was what time we were going to go outside? I remember when all I had to do to hang out with someone was go to their house and ask them. If they weren't there, then you get some alone time during the walk.
I have facebook, I used to have myspace. I understand that it is fun to write little interesting things about yourself that may or may not be true. But people going so far as to say that it's taking over their lives... that's simply bullshit. Grow the fuck up. You want to be a successful human being, and enjoy the next fifty or so years of your life? Learn to shut off the phone, television, or computer. Learn to look outside and understand what's happening, as opposed to looking it up on Facebook News.
I am an asshole completely, I understand this. But don't complain about something that you have complete control over. It's like someone who says, "I can't help but jump from place to place. I really want to walk, but I just can't. It's like... I'm addicted or something. I can't explain it. I just love to hop. It makes me feel like a rabbit. A hoppative, fluffy rabbit." Use these kinds of jokes when you're addicted to crack, or give me a shout when you want to complain about how your family is falling apart. People have real problems right now, and maybe we should learn to look beyond our computer screen to see them. Until then, let's leave facebook out of areas where we feel we are "pushing the boundaries" of creative writing. I've seen more art in a triple layer sandwhich.

Let Them Eat Cake

2008-12-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

Recently, I went to a VIP party at the Boiler Room in Toronto. It was exclusive to people who worked at Lush, and their respective dates. I was a respective date to the biggest babe in the room. I really lucked out that I was invited! But that's beside the point. Back to the party itself, this event was unreal. They were giving out $100 gift cards at various popular stores, plenty of free drinks, plenty of free food which looked to be delicious, and I'm sure there were a few other things given out that I haven't mentioned. What I got from the whole night, is that Lush really looks after their employees. In this day and age, it seems like a a lot of companies don't really put forth any effort when it comes to keeping moral up with their workers. Lush must have made some people love life that night. It was definately a really fun event.
When I walked into Lush to pick up Lauren (the babe who I was accompanying), the first thing I was hit by was the smell of this store. I was not a big fan. Maybe it's just me, but my nose was assaulted with smell. If I could sue for rape, I would definately make the move. I was looking at all the products, and they were terrifying. Cleaning products with oatmeal in them? What the shit is this gelatinous blob stuff I'm supposed to clean myself with? I just can't deal with it. So I guess after this first reaction, I didn't know what to think of Lush. But being at the party however, and seeing how much respect goes around between employers and employees, it really got the one-up on most other companies.
Everyone has worked a job they hate. Straight up, I think you're lying or spoilt if you say otherwise. There's not a chance that you enjoyed working at Sloppy Steve's Sweaty Spagetti. But when a company goes out and does something really thankfully (as in the case of Lush), you have to give due respect where it's deserved. Many companies don't care at all about their work force. Since these types of franchises started going up, people have been more and more distanced from the people they work with. Don't get me wrong, I hate commies as much as the next patriot, but I really liked what I saw here.
My point? Lush really looks after the people that work there (I am guessing and hope I can say the same thing about the people who make Lush products), the people that work there are all babes, all the products are vegan/vegetarian, and it's seemingly healthy. I feel like I'm throwing a sales pitch, but it's something you don't see often enough, and I think that if other places looked after the work force like Lush, there would be a lot less disgruntled punx roaming the internet.

Friends 1, Bond 0

2008-12-07T02:57:00.000-08:00

I went on tour this summer before I moved to Ottawa. Probably one of the most, if not the most fun time I've had in my life. Waking up next to a bunch of sweaty dudes, eating horribly, showering together in YMCA's, losing money, breaking equipment... nothing really beats it. I know it's horribly cliche, but no one can ever condemn me, or anyone who has had this oppurtunity, for thinking on what an amazing experience it is.
Fast forward to tonight. I get to hang out with Steve, Jamie, Marc, and Kyle. Probably one of the most free, best times I've had in ages. It's not to say that I don't live living where I do, but sometimes it's not the place you live, but they people that make home where it is. I can safely say (and in every manner cliche), that for two months that van was a more welcome home then I have ever had.
We went and saw the new James Bond flick today. It fucking sucked, of course. It just turned into another movie with a large amount of random sequences that ended after two hours. It didn't make sense, and I'm sick of this Ocean's Eleven, Italion Job suave shit (I don't care if all these movies are remakes, sue me). What made the movie so unreal was the show we put on in the theatre. We got naked, swore, acted as the assholes in the theatre, made irrelevent connections to other things, etc. It just rules knowing that you have people you can be a fuckhead in front of, without constant reminders of it.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. I say fuck your enemies, and keep your friends as close as possible. As long as you have a friend to go to shitty movies with, you have a place to call home. Just listen to The Bouncing Souls' "How I Spent my Summer Vacation" to get an idea of this friendship. But don't do it if you're the kind of person that attributes titles such as BFF and whatnot. I don't want you ruining The Bouncing Souls for me.

Rad Jovi

2008-12-05T12:45:00.000-08:00

I just got off of a plane ride that lasted thirty minutes. I didn't even get to watch all of the in-flight show! I only ate 6 of the 7 pretzels that I was given, and the water was no good at all. Not to mention the frisking they give at the security areas. Yeah, everyone loves a pat down once and awhile, but I don't like showing of my dick piercings. Life moves on. Driving back to my Mom's house from the airport, I nearly get destroyed by this little old Indian woman who can't see over the wheel. Really, I could only see the top of her head. Her man was passing her a bag of potato chips while she was attempting to drive, and forced me into the other lane as she suddenly jerked the wheel. Fuck, I hate stereotypes, but way to live up to it!
I think the Mile High club is completely made up. There's no way that two passengers are going to go unnoticed by the flight attendents. Those people notice everything. I was trying to hide my headphones on one side of my head as we were going into the air. Not a chance would this go unnoticed. They would just not have it! I can see why though. It would be really embarrasing if the signals got crossed and when the pilots thought they were receiving ground control status, they were actually receiving "Fuck this Shit!" or "Noble Stabbings!!!" by some of the lesser-known bands on my Ipod. Or maybe they'd enjoy it? The only way we would know is if the plane started flying spasmodically, making sudden dips.
I met this guy (and I'm sure there are plenty out there) who had a fair amount of porn on his Ipod. What if that came through, and when you thought you were about to see Two and a Half Men, you actually saw Two and Half Men and the Two and a half Minute Projectile Ejaculation? They would be an uncomfortable flight. Something tells me that using your Ipod and/or electronic devices isn't that bad. But if it is, then people need to turn off their implanted heart monitors and whatnot. They're threating the lives of many!

Bon Jovi actually rocks really hard.

Bukowski rules.

2008-12-04T01:25:00.000-08:00

"It's 4:30 in the morning, it's always 4:30 in the morning."

Well, it's 4:30 in the morning, and here I sit. Writing in a blog that I'm pretty sure three people have read. That would be three people that decided that what I have to say is worth spending a little bit of time on. I hope they weren't wrong. But frankly, I recorded my first song with singing tonight, and after hearing my voice/lyrics, I wouldn't give myself two dicks and a shot glass. But hating your own voice aside, who loves staying up this late?
I want to get back into a regular sleeping schedule, so I plan on staying up all night, all tomorrow, and then get an awesome sleep. What am I doing to achieve this? Eating a burrito, reading Dracula, playing guitar, writing in a blog, being angry at everyone in the world, and avoiding my roommate's pot. I don't smoke weed, and I don't ever feel any urge to do it, but sometimes I think it would make an awesome floral wreath, and tonight is an example of when my creativity is leading me to unknown places.
I was walking to my friends house today, and there was a skinny black girl walking ahead of me. She's singing pretty loudly what sounds like Stevie Wonder. She can't really walk in a straight line, but she manages to remain upright. It's a little funny, so I allow myself a chuckle. She looks back and says, "What the fuck you laugh?". I didn't quite understand this, so I remained quiet and kinda just kept walking. She repeats louder this time, "What the fuck you laugh?". To this I felt I had to reply, "Sorry, I don't understand what you mean." She looks at me for a moment, and then says, "You lookin' for fuck?" I took the street that veared off. Apparently this extremely drunk women deemed my inability to understand her as a sign that I was worthy of a gross bout of sex. Did I just miss out on my possible soulmate? Only time and depression will tell.

True story.

Depressing!

2008-12-02T15:49:00.000-08:00

"Our German neighbours have ascribed to themselves a teutonic type that is fair, long-headed, tall and virile. Let us make a composite picture of a typical Teuton from the most prominent exponents of this view. Let him be as blond as Hitler, as dolichocephalic as Rosenberg, as tall as Goebbels, as slender as Goering and as manly as Streicher. How much would this resemble the German ideal?"

-Julian Huxley We Europeans: A Survey of Racial Problems 1936

"To Prime Minister Asquith, the young Winston Churchill privately described the high birth rate of the 'mentally defficient' alongside the 'restriction of the progeny among all the thrifty, energetic and superior stocks' as 'a very terrible danger to the race'.

"Only the outbreak of war in 1939 prevented Sir Norman Kendal, head of Britain's Scotland Yard, from taking up a German invitation to tour the Dachau concentration camp in order to study contemporary policing methods, and to hear Arthur Nebe, head of the Criminal Police, lecturing on new techniques of crime control"

-Mark Mazower Dark Continent 1998

So, Julian Huxley was a firm believer in Eugenics, and it was a major part of his theories and discoveries. Look it up. I guess the point of this one is, maybe the good guys aren't always who you think they are. By the way, Charles Darwin and Francis Galton were cousins. Look Galton up, he's got some good lines as well.

C.H.U.D.D

2008-12-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

If a girl could read at birth, the first thing she would see when they come out of that lovely place is the doctor holding a sign reading:

You better have awesome tits and ass, and you better be pretty smart, but not as smart as most people, and don't forget to spend a few good hours on your look everyday, and have a knowledge of makeup, making sure that you look great, but also that you look like you 'don't wear to much makeup'

Sorry, it's true. Let's be honest, what's the first thing guys look at? I know that I always look at a girls brain and her personality, but what about every other guy? Surely not everyone is as sensitive and emotionally intuned as I am? To bad ladies, you've got a lot of people to impress, and a lot of porn to live up to. It's a shame that girls have to deal with all this shit for so long, and that with all this in my mind, I'm still going to say what I'm going to say.

Relationships. 99.9% of what we think about. It's such a shame! They're fun for awhile, but they can get bad most of the time. Being in love and being totally smitten with someone is just about the best feeling in the world, but let's face it, it doesn't happen often. Dudes get bummed out when they find themselves getting "stuck with the same old girl". Try dating a fat chick, that'll be an adventure. You know when you go out to a party and that group of really hot babes are in the corner, and they've got that one scud hanging out with them? Go for the scud! She's probably better at video games then any of the other girls she's hanging with. Girls, you're saying there are no good guys out there? Look around! They don't all have to have nice shoulders and arms (So you don't care about looks? Balderdash. I see you looking scud). Not all the awesome dudes hang out at band practice and play music. Not all the awesome dudes go for the hottest chick before looking at anyone else, somehow determining that they are the hottest chick in the room. Douchebags.

I think somewhere in that paragraph of garbage this thought came into my head. Friends are more important then boyfriends and girlfriends. Learning and understanding are more important then learning and understanding where the clitoris is. Girls, blowjobs DON'T feel better when you pleasure the anus. Go out there and have fun, and don't worry about fucking. It'll happen at some point, and it's not all about bodyparts. Maybe you'll meet someone worth meeting when you're not looking.

Prepubescent Pantie Sluts! Volume: 17

2008-11-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

Porn stars have agents right? Obviously the pornography industry is filled with people who didn't quite cut it in their chosen field, and decided on the second choice.

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"
"Well, I've always loved the film industry, but I don't see myself as an actor or director... I guess I want to help young stars pick the right movies, and just be that inspiring force behind it, you know?"
"Well, what are you going to do if that doesn't work out?"
" I'm not sure really. Maybe something frowned upon by mothers and made fun of by the majority of the media. Maybe I'll attempt to convince girls to fuck 'Mr. Big Dick' on camera. Who knows what the future brings?"

Life moves on. Of course I can talk because I've only looked at porn, I've never been around it, so therefore I can attack it. That reasoning is pretty flawed, but unfortunately it's prevailent among young vegan hardcore kids, most of which listen to Earth Crisis, Throwdown, Too Pure To Die, Liferuiner, etc. I think we just gotta accept that it's not great, and encourage people to not get into porn. Maybe once we've started stopping people from seeing it is as entertainment and an industry, then we'll be able to start telling people it's wrong (if it is actually as evil as we're told), and actually believing it ourselves. Until then, let not the preachers preach.

4:00 PM

2008-11-29T08:38:00.001-08:00

We've all had our rough nights, and some of us have worked the midnight shift. I have sympathy towards any person that finds themselves having to work anywhere after the sun goes down in order to make money. But there is one exception. Fucking drug dealers. Hang on all you anarcho punx, and all you "legalize marijuana" goons out there. I'm not saying this to state my growing straight edge beliefs, and I'm not about to pull a DeNiro in Taxi. I'm saying this because I can't sleep. Are they firing guns in the streets, pervading my ears? Are they forcing little children into slavery and thus destroying my sense of morality, resulting in a one-man war on crime where anything goes? Maybe somewhere else, but not here. No, what's going on is my roommate. This motherfucker sleeps until 4:00 PM, and then it's a no holds barred fight against the natural sleeping order. I probably sound like a huge jerk off, and I am a pretty dramatic guy, but this situation is ridiculous. I'll stop rambling and lay it out.
My roommate is an okay dude, but he's nothing amazing. One of those guys that you'll always describe as, "Yeah, he's alright", and not much more. But one thing is that he is selling weed at school. No problem to me really, he has a lot more money then I do, and it's apparently really easy. But the schedule he's gotten into is so much the antithesis to my schedule that it's resulting in nothing but bad times. He stays up all night, having random pop ins of these goon bro's who can't help but compliment my ink/tats/art/work or my amp. They fail to notice that I'm ignoring them attempting to sleep. They leave after getting their miniscule amount of weed that will last them twenty minutes. Then my roommate goes for his bong and smokes weed louder then I ever saw Gandalf, or Pippin (Lord of the Rings, for everyone out there who's nights consist of MTV). We all know what happens next thanks to stereotypes: He proceeds to eat doritos and every possible crunchy food, again as loudly as possible. This ends in a 6:00 AM bed time. I usually have been trying to listen to music or some other things, but have found myself with fittered and ineffectual sleeps, mostly being awake the whole time he has.
Okay. I sound like an asshole, cool, we've covered that. But a little bitch? Most people would just talk to this guy about it, right? Problem solved! Well, I have mentioned it a few times, and it usually results in a memory loss type situation. He has no recollection of my trying to sleep and confronting him about it. I could be more forceful and really get pissed as another course of action. Only problem is that I have to live with this guy until next June, and we share a room. Not just a home, a room. He has access to everything I have, in one way or another. I don't want this to turn into the war of the catburglers. My proposition? Dealers, start working at a Shoppers Drug Mart and just be really badass and over-the-counter. Bro's, don't look at my ink/tats/work/art.

Fucking friendship.

2008-11-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

I have this friend who I call Braeden. This guy is fucking awesome. He's funny, witty, and not to mention a handsome gent, which we can all admit makes days a little better. But one thing about this guy that rules, whether you're Hitler or Mandela: He argues everything you say. Now I know that some people will just get one argument thrown their way and be straight up, "Fuck that", as they proceed to back up out of the room. Braeden starts his argument in a way that is incredibly entertaining. He starts these awesome conversations everytime! Here is an example of this:
I'm sitting in a chair in my buddies room, and in walks Braeden. He gives a quick survey of the room, sees what it has to offer, checks all the people out. He's a little drunk but not enough to ruin anything. He sees me sitting there in my blue basketball shorts, which happen to be the best thing in my possession, I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do without these shorts on. They offer full comfort and flexability. He looks at me asks, "Are those the CTK gym shorts?" I reply that yeah they are, and that yeah, there's a little jizz stain on one of the legs. He says in the harshest voice possible for him, "I fucking hate those shorts!" I have to know why he hates the shorts. No matter who you are, you can't hate basketball shorts, and certaintly not with the vehemence that he proclaimed. Braeden couldn't offer a reason for his prejudice, but it did spark a conversation that moved from music to boobs, which would last until four in the morning.
I'm glad I met Braeden. He's a really good guy, and gives me a reason to be stoked about writing to myself in a shitty blog.

Beer Pong?

2008-11-27T20:45:00.000-08:00

I just sat in on a game of beer pong or beirut, depending on where you're from. I guess I just sat quietly and sang along to some of the songs I knew, while these four people throw the ping-pong balls, progressively getting more intoxicated. I mean, that's totally cool. The Greeks used to tie leather straps to their hands and box basically until the death. No big deal or anything. I think the reason I'm commenting on beer pong, is that the four people I watched play this game... well, they practice on a regular basis. They fucking analyze the proper ways to throw, little secret ways of setting up the cups, and even methods on cheating when coming to drinking, in order to remain more sober for more wins. I drink a lot, and I enjoy it. I, of all people, should not be critiquing someone else's habits when drinking, especially in such a "holier then thou" way... but I feel it's someone's duty to step up, pull the pongs out of a couple of brahs hands and say, "Come on dude". Yeah, people are competetive by nature, and yeah, jocks are competetive by blood. But even now the competition finds new heights in drinking, the most obnoxious but yet (for the first little while) the most uniting activity. Even people that voted for different political leaders will drink together, even if it's for different reasons (Yes, people who voted for different political leaders. Let's be clear: voting is a big deal to most of us politically correct patriots, and depending on who you vote, it can make or break what might otherwise be a fucking awesome relationship). Two of these particular jocks got into a pretty heated argument that led to restraint and then straight-up, albeit drunk death threats. This over a game that employs the use of ping pong balls. Nothing with the words "ping pong" should ever be fucking violent, that's just lame.
Okay so this is me being an asshole and taking something a little too seriously, but maybe just once we can leave the competition out of it? I have a hard enough time with life as is, now I have to compete with a bunch of fucking bro's about who can drink better? I think I'm going to move to Cuba. Peace out brah.

P.S- I'm doing this to try and improve my writing, organization of thoughts, and also to take away the need for my social filter. Will it work? Didn't the League of Nations result in Ultimate Fucking Awesome?